


Reflection that Binds

by Lacertae



Series: Takane no Hana [3]
Category: xxxHoLic, 合法ドラッグ | Gouhou Drug | Legal Drug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood, Cover Art, Crossover, Digital Art, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Family, Family Feels, Japanese Culture, M/M, Multi, Prophetic Dreams, Spirits, dream walking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5164931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacertae/pseuds/Lacertae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Doumeki/Watanuki* Watanuki is faced with something dangerous, and this time it is not targeting him, but someone close to him, and it is a threat that he cannot deal with on his own.</p><p>He needs the help of someone ready to do odd jobs for some money, actually, so good to know such a person exists, and Yuuko knows where to find him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 01 - Threat

**Author's Note:**

> Third part of my collection. Sorry if this one took so long, but I have started NaNoWriMo and I'm juggling between this fanfic and my original story on it.
> 
> Anyway, as mentioned before, this one is the first that actually crosses over between Clamp manga. In this case, with Lawful Drugstore. First time touching those characters, so tell me what you think of it!
> 
> You will not get much of this story if you haven't read at least 'Ripples of Fate' before, so if you could kindly go and check that one, it'd be better, thank you!
> 
> As usual, feel free to send kudos and comments, they make me really happy (like, you have no idea).

**Chapter 01 - Threat**

The dream world, Watanuki was slowly realising, was a weird place.

It looked exactly like the real world, but there was something to it that was inconsistent, like the feeling of sand falling through fingers, though when one was inside a dream it was not noticeable.

At first, Watanuki had found it difficult to distinguish between wake and sleep, if only because both worlds were so blurred and identical to him that being in one or the other made absolutely no difference.

The first time he’d seen Doumeki’s grandfather, and even the second time, he’d mistaken him for Doumeki, so used to having Doumeki at his side that the sight of someone who had his same face hadn’t registered as ‘another person’ at all until he’d seen Haruka smile.

After that, Watanuki had tried to find something that would help him realise whenever he was dreaming, from the clothes he wore to the different feeling of the air around him –but all these details were not things he noticed right away, and he would only start picking up on them if he already knew he was sleeping.

Even now that he was growing more apt with recognising whenever he was truly dreaming, the only times he could distinguish between reality and dream right away were those where Haruka was there, since his presence was an unexplainable dissonance.

Due to the fact that he kept falling asleep during the day without noticing, and the frequency was growing at an alarming pace recently, Watanuki was slowly starting to notice earlier and earlier when things did not line up correctly. Most of the time, Haruka appeared afterwards, especially when Watanuki felt in need to talk –just like he had done recently in relation to Doumeki’s dietary habits– while other times the sudden knowledge pushed Watanuki right out and he awoke or fell into normal dreams afterwards.

Which proved to be a problem, because Watanuki had plans to learn how to move through dreams, and this inconsistency made it difficult.

Touya had promised to help, but to admit to someone else that he was not sure whether he was sleeping or not was a private, delicate and embarrassing thing, and the thought of having to say that to someone, even if it was Touya –a person who Watanuki had grown to trust and respect in the little time he’d known the man– was too much for him. Besides, it would make Touya ask too much, and there were things Watanuki himself did not know, so how could he offer Touya an explanation when he himself did not have one?

He hadn’t even said anything to _Doumeki_ , who apparently had somehow become Watanuki’s confident without him noticing, because he knew it would make him worry, or try to help, and… Watanuki was slowly realising that there were things that he had to do without anyone’s help.

Watanuki had thought about it for a long while after learning that Touya and Yukito knew how to walk through dreams, and he had come to a conclusion –if he was fighting so hard to cling to the reality where he was with Doumeki, Himawari and Yuuko, he needed to be able to see where the dream ended and that ‘reality’ started. Learning how to move through dreams would help him with that, too.

Still, Touya had also said that he would not be able to find Yuuko’s shop again now, not in reality nor in a dream because his wish had been granted and he had no need to see it ever again, which meant that either Watanuki had to spend the night over at Touya’s house, or he had to meet with Touya directly inside a dream.

Sleeping at someone else’s house was not something that Watanuki had done often –in fact, he only remembered doing so at Yuuko’s house, which was slowly becoming more like his second house than just a ‘store’– and while he trusted Touya and Yukito, he did not want to impose his presence there longer than he had to, and that unfortunately meant he only had one other choice –to find some common ground place where Touya could go in a dream that Watanuki could also find on his own.

Unfortunately for Watanuki, he had no idea where to start with finding that place.

This thought accompanied Watanuki to bed and was still nagging him the moment he fell asleep, cuddled up together with Mokona and Mugetsu –as it was becoming a constant as of late, and neither would leave him alone when it was time to sleep.

Because of this, when Watanuki found himself sitting on the patio of Yuuko’s store, the grass lazily bending because of an invisible breeze and the air pleasantly cool, he realised instantly he was in a dream.

The familiar sight of the store building around him, the smell of sandalwood in the air, the fact that he could see clearly in the dream, even though he had lost his glasses a long while before… Watanuki felt at peace, and with this knowledge he found himself secure that he would not fall out of the dream world this time.

The garden of Yuuko’s dream shop was just the same as the one outside the dream, Watanuki decided as he walked through it, looking over at the familiar shape of the kekkai fence surrounding it from one side to the other.

Even the shop itself was identical, but Watanuki had the feeling that something was different here, even though he had no idea what. The air, maybe. It was fizzing, full of something that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

Looking up, the sky was dark and he could see no stars there, but there was a full moon, big and glowing, right above his head. He wondered if he would ever see the sun in a dream, or if that was the reflection of his own thoughts that dreams only belonged to the night.

Either way it was more fitting to see Yuuko’s shop like this –quiet, silent, surrounded by darkness; there was nobody around except him, too, and Watanuki found himself wondering if Maru and Moro ever dreamed while they slept.

Yuuko didn’t want to tell him why, but Watanuki _had_ noticed that they were never around, and he was starting to worry, even though he had no idea why, whether something had happened to them that she did not want him to know.

At first he had thought them to be annoying, but they were a constant presence in his life and he missed them and their bubbly attitude, and he thought he’d seen Mokona glance around sometimes, as if he too was missing them.

He sat down again on the edge of the patio, looking out into the darkness, and was surprised to see two butterflies float lazily within the perimeter of the shop. They were big –bigger than butterflies had the right to be, really– and one was black with dashes of white on its wings while the other was the opposite, white with some black streaks.

As if attracted by him, the two butterflies floated his way, twirling and curling around each other playfully, and Watanuki watched them approach him without moving; whenever he saw butterflies nowadays he was strongly reminded of Yuuko, and those two were no exception, but… there was something really familiar about them though, some sort of feeling that reminded him of something or someone else, but he couldn’t focus, the knowledge slipping past him as the butterflies twirled around him, as if happy to see him.

He raised one hand towards the butterflies, palm up and fingers spread open, and one of the butterflies landed on it, so light and delicate that Watanuki’s eyes widened at the touch, because he felt as if he could remember why they were so familiar, why…

“Are you waiting for me?”

Startled out of his thoughts, Watanuki turned around, smiling sheepishly as he noticed Haruka standing a little away from where he was sitting.

“Ah… actually, yes, yes I was,” he admitted, a bit flustered.

When he turned around again, he realised that the butterflies had disappeared, his hand feeling somewhat cold now. He closed it into a fist, the familiarity vanishing into nothingness now that the butterflies were gone.

“Well, did you perhaps want to admire the moon with me?” Haruka sat down, his voice teasing, and Watanuki smiled at him.

“Not quite, no, but it is a beautiful moon,” he said, looking up again. “Is there a full moon all the time in dreams?”

Haruka shook his head. “Even that full moon simply means something. Did you know that during full moons there used to be rituals of purification in ancient times?” Haruka stretched his legs in front of him and brought a cigarette to his lips, taking a long drag. The smoke curled around him and wafted towards Watanuki, who waved one hand through its coils to dispel it. “People thought that the moon, when full, could make magical powers stronger and more precise, including the ability to read portents into dreams”.

Watanuki looked at Haruka, then up at the moon again. “I didn’t know that”.

Haruka smiled indulgently. “And you want to learn, which is why you asked that person to teach you the way of dream walking”.

Shuffling a bit where he was sitting, Watanuki nodded. “Yeah. Touya said he wouldn’t mind teaching me what he knows”.

“And yet, you’ve known me for longer than that, and you never thought about asking me?”

A little flustered, Watanuki leaned forwards. “I… I thought that–”

“I was just teasing you!” Haruka puffed out another long trail of smoke, and his tone was teasing, so obvious that Watanuki pulled back, cheeks red. Haruka’s smile was no less warm than before. “I am not the right person to teach you that sort of thing, because the way I move through dreams is different, as I am only here in spirit, not in body. I could teach you things, but as you are now, they wouldn’t be the things you _need_ to know”.

“Ah…”

“You shouldn’t waste such a beautiful sight by sitting here feeling disappointed, you know,” Haruka continued, obviously noticing how Watanuki still was not appeased. “Just because I cannot teach you what you need to know does not make the bond we share any less important. Do you not enjoy our chats, then?”

“Of course I do!” Watanuki clenched his hands into fists, somewhat grateful that Haruka hadn’t been offended at all. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me since the start, and… well, sometimes I feel like it’s easier to understand you than…”

“… than Shizuka, is that so?”

With a nod, Watanuki sighed and looked down at his hands.

“Does it bother you, that you can’t understand him?”

“Why is it that most of our conversations lately are about that guy,” Watanuki grumbled, refusing to look at Haruka as he pondered over the way his life seemed to work. “Yes, of course it bothers me!”

Haruka chuckled, the cigarette burning brightly in the darkness. “As long as it does, I think things between you two will be fine,” and when Watanuki looked sharply at him, eyes wide, he smiled and continued, “you have been thinking a lot about your friendships and your bonds with those around you, and it is a good sign. I’m glad you always trust me with this kind of talk too”.

“Haruka-san…” Watanuki smiled, unable to hide his relief to hear him talk like that. “But it’s true that I’ve tried to look at things differently. I don’t want to regret anything of this life, since lately I’ve felt like something big is coming and I’m not yet ready for that,” he looked up, staring outside of the shop, unable to see anything past the boundary that surrounded it. It was like there was nothing other than the shop, and instead of making him feel afraid, Watanuki found the thought reassuring. The shop felt like home, and it was safe, and it was where he’d met Yuuko. “I don’t want to find myself thinking I should have done more, that I should have tried harder. If this is all I get, I’d like to think I’ve done the best I could with my own strength”.

He got no reply to that, so Watanuki looked to the side, and was surprised to see a strange expression on Haruka’s face that he had never seen before –it was almost pained, and a little distressed; a far cry from his usual soft, gentle smile, and it was enough to make Watanuki feel like he’d said something wrong.

“I–”

“You are a good kid, you really are,” Haruka leaned forwards, and much to Watanuki’s surprise, he pressed one hand on his head.

The touch was soft and firm, and for a moment Watanuki’s sight was covered by the edge of Haruka’s kimono sleeve, and a distinctive smell of tobacco and incense filled his senses.

“It seems a lot of people have said that to me lately,” Watanuki said when Haruka removed his hand. “I didn’t mean to say something that hurt you, Haruka-san”.

“I know,” was the quiet reply. “But sometimes the worry we carry for others is what pains us, and it’s not their fault for causing that pain. To care for a person means to accept the fact that in our hearts they are important, enough for us to want them to be happy. If you cared for someone, you would not want to see them in pain”.

“But I’m not in pain…?”

Haruka shook his head, then pressed the tip of his index against Watanuki’s chest, right where his heart was.

“You chose to cling to your life, then the thought of being unable to continue should make you feel like you’re losing time too quickly. It should make you feel regret, but most of all anger because it is unfair that the life you ought to have might be cut too short”. Haruka closed his eyes, composing his expression to something resembling calm, and Watanuki watched him, eyes wide. “When I died, it was peaceful. I had lived a long life with no regrets, and though parting ways with someone always results in pain, those I left behind knew I’d been happy. There is no way to make that sort of pain any less than it is, but it was my time and I accepted it for what it was. But you…” Haruka met Watanuki’s eyes, and he was still not smiling. “You haven’t lived enough to think this way”.

Watanuki hesitated, before shaking his head slowly. “For a long while, I…” his words faltered, as he could not find it within himself to bring his thoughts to life. How could one explain that he had just started to learn to value his own life, after so long spent with a deeply rooted certainty that he would, one day, disappear? “… I wasn’t sure whether I would keep on existing. I’ve been told that the body can remember things that the mind has forgotten, and I’ve started to wonder whether I’ve known all along that my time was running out. Whether I have been preparing for that as an inevitable future, until I decided to defy that and try to keep on existing, regardless of what was waiting ahead”.

He looked at Haruka, his expression lost and determined at the same time, the sort of face one would make when fighting with odds he was not sure to beat, and Haruka closed his eyes, pushing his cigarette into his mouth with a forceful gesture that betrayed his emotions, even when his face did not, and inhaled from it as deeply as he could.

“Forgive me,” he told Watanuki after a moment, breathing out another long trail of smoke.

“No, I… I think I understand, just a bit,” Watanuki shook his head. “I can’t say you shouldn’t worry, because I know better now, but… thank you for worrying for me, Haruka-san, but I do not plan on disappearing”.

Haruka snorted, his cigarette almost falling from his lips, and his body relaxed again. They remained in silence for a long moment, sharing a small, conspiratorial smile, before Haruka straightened his back once more and stood up, looking down at Watanuki.

“You have been waiting for me for a reason, isn’t that so?” he said.

He was once again the calm, smiling person Watanuki had grown to know, but that shared moment where he had seen him falter would be forever burned into his mind. Still, Watanuki nodded, grateful the conversation had moved onto easier subjects.

It was easy to explain the situation with Touya, and how he had yet to find a solution for his problem.

“You did miss an easy answer, but I guess this is why you came to me,” Haruka replied with an indulgent grin. “If you don’t want to impose on Kinomoto-san, why don’t you choose the Sensou-ji temple for your lessons?”

Watanuki’s eyes widened in surprise at the suggestion, then his lips twitched into a wide smile. He’d gone there more than once, he recognised the place, and he had been there in a dream already, since the pure aura surrounding it, as Haruka had told him once, meant that place attracted him.

Surely, if he tried to return there, he would be able to do it even without any practice.

“That’s it!” Watanuki hurried to stand, looking so full of energy that Haruka chuckled.

“I’m glad I was able to help you, Kimihiro-kun” then his expression turned more serious. “Just make sure to be careful. Walking through dreams sometimes can be dangerous”.

“Yeah,” Watanuki was still smiling, but he looked calmer still. “Thank you, Haruka-san”.

***

“I admit that I’m a bit envious, Watanuki-kun,” Himawari munched on a piece of ginger thoughtfully and Watanuki turned to look at her, surprised at her admission. “Walking through dreams seems like something really nice, you get to meet Doumeki-kun’s grandfather and even see things like the Sensou-ji temple when there’s no people around… I’d like to be able to take a walk around my dreams too! Isn’t that right, Tanpopo?”

Watanuki smiled, somewhat besotted by her cute expression and her words, and while he could understand her fascination –she had always been interested by mysterious things and he knew this wouldn’t change– he approached this sort of thing with a lot more suspicion, especially considering Haruka’s warning about the possible dangers.

He rather trusted the man and if he said to be wary, then Watanuki would try his best. At least he wasn’t going to be alone while dreaming, with Touya who would teach him the ropes and make sure he learned what to do…

It was then that Watanuki realised that Haruka, regardless of his frequent disappearances, had always been around whenever Watanuki was in the dream world, ever since their first meeting when he had saved him from Himawari’s prophetic nightmare monster.

His presence had become something he expected whenever he dreamed, but not all of his dreams were trips in the dream world either. If he dreamed normal things, Watanuki did not see Haruka at all, and afterwards while awake he could say without trouble which dream had been ‘normal’ and which one had been a trip into the dream world.

Haruka’s interest in his safety and his warnings were more than just casual concern, and Watanuki had known that Doumeki’s grandfather had a soft spot for him somehow –Watanuki did start to consider the man as close as a real grandfather could be, but it was an embarrassing thought, especially when Haruka always appeared to be his same age, and it was better if he never found out, or Watanuki would die of embarrassment– but this further proof of the man’s investment in his life made warmth blossom inside his chest.

“What do you think, Doumeki-kun?” Himawari turned towards the third party, who was munching loudly on a piece of sushi. “Wouldn’t it be fun if we could walk through dreams together? Does that mean we could control what we do in there, like in a videogame?”

“That’s lucid dreaming,” Doumeki swallowed his bite and by the looks of it, he had also swallowed something distasteful, because the look he sent Watanuki’s way was bitter enough to make him fidget. “I think the dream world is something different”.

“Ah… I’m not sure, but the mechanics should be similar,” Watanuki glared at Doumeki and automatically opened the thermos with the tea even before Doumeki grabbed his empty cup, filling it the moment it was shoved under his nose. “At least ask for it!” he chastised the other, who as usual ignored his outburst. Watanuki rolled his eyes and turned towards Himawari again, his expression softening a bit. “Touya-san said that the process of travelling through the dream world means what happens there reflects on your sleeping self, so even getting hurt in a dream would mean getting hurt outside,” he knew he was fuelling Doumeki’s anger, but Watanuki continued despite that. “When you have a lucid dream it’s still just a dream, but you are aware you’re dreaming and you can exert control over what happens around you, while in the dream world you’re able to move through dreams of other people too, or even see what happens outside while not being really there with your body. I did that once with Haruka-san”.

Himawari nodded, eyes wide and full of interest, and Doumeki slurped down his cup of tea with the same crease on his forehead as before. Watanuki glared at him again, and Himawari giggled at them.

“Still, if you can get hurt here you have to be careful, right?” Himawari’s smile melted in a worried expression, and Watanuki’s glare softened again in a genuine grin.

“Of course. I won’t be alone, and if something happens that can be dangerous, I promise I will wake up right away”.

He watched as Doumeki’s shoulders seemed to relax just the smallest fraction, and felt a complex mix of relief and annoyance wash through him at the sight.

It seemed that Doumeki had somehow calmed down about his dislike for Touya, but he still did not like the thought of Watanuki going someplace he could not follow. It was degrading to think that Doumeki had bigger chances to protect him than Watanuki himself had, and that Doumeki knew it, but Watanuki didn’t want Doumeki to feel like he had to always be present to be some sort of guard or protector.

If they were… Watanuki swallowed… _friends_ , then it meant Doumeki shouldn’t feel obliged to go out of his way just because Watanuki happened to attract a lot of trouble.

Watanuki had changed since the start, when all he had wanted was to keep Doumeki away because of some instinctual dislike. He could admit now that he enjoyed him being there, and he even _cared_ for him, and didn’t that thought feel good to admit? Watanuki was growing up, he really was –his self from just earlier that year would throw a fit at the thought of calling Doumeki a friend and even thinking he was ok to have around.

But exactly because of that –because he cared, because they were supposed to be friends, the thought of Doumeki being around him mostly because Watanuki needed some sort of constant bodyguard didn’t sit well with him.

Watanuki knew better than to even think that Doumeki was around for this reason only –it wouldn’t make sense to subject himself to Watanuki’s tirades and grumpy fights just because he felt like he was the only one able to keep him safe. Maybe at first that had been the reason, just like Watanuki had disliked him just because of his purifying powers, but you don’t sacrifice half of your sight, and later on a massive amount of blood, just to keep someone you dislike alive and healthy.

So no, Watanuki knew that Doumeki, in his own weird way, considered him a friend too, and trusted him and his food –or at least trusted the Watanuki whom Watanuki himself did not know, locked away without his memories of having existed. Or… Watanuki looked up, at the way Doumeki methodically polished his bento box, and thought that maybe it was a bit of both.

He turned to look at Himawari. “But! Since we can’t walk together in dreams, maybe we could go together to get an omikuji, right?” Watanuki always made sure to remind her that her wishful thoughts didn’t have to remain as such, not with them. “If you get a good one, I’m sure it’ll make you smile!”

He got what he’d hoped to see –Himawari did not hesitate and smiled warmly at him, managing to look even prettier than usual. “You did get a good one when you went to the Sanja Matsuri, didn’t you?”

“Of course! I carry that with me for good luck too!” Watanuki shuffled through his pockets for a bit before producing the future fortune he’d gotten the previous week, showing it to Himawari, who grabbed it to read it before returning it to Watanuki. “That oaf over there got a bad one instead!”

“Doumeki-kun doesn’t need good fortunes as much as Watanuki-kun does, though,” Himawari replied with an easy smile, causing Doumeki to nod, much to Watanuki’s chagrin, and he slumped over in his seat, clutching his bento box close before putting his fortune away again.

“What about your cooking lessons, Watanuki-kun?”

Watanuki winced.

That was honestly a sore spot. The woman who had visited the shop a while before, wanting to learn how to cook, was probably the weirdest customer Yuuko’s store had attracted from the very start, which was somewhat confusing when it was the one with the most underwhelming wish and who looked perfectly normal, even to Watanuki’s eyes.

He had gone to her house three times so far, and every time he had felt even more unsettled than before, but at least this time he knew why; during their last lesson together, the woman had candidly admitted to him that she did not, and had never had before, tried to taste her own cooking.

Since Watanuki had become aware of the lack of memories surrounding his past, wrapped in vague things that felt less real and more like fabricated lies every time he thought about them, and the fact that he could not taste his own cooking, only remembering the way supernatural foods tasted like, this admission had shaken him to the core.

At first, her words ‘I can’t taste anything I’ve made myself’ had made Watanuki’s heart jump-start in his chest, and for a moment he had wondered whether this person was like him, somehow. But her next words, her refusal to try things she cooked because she thought it was disgusting… no, he could not understand that at all.

The fact that there was a part of him that was missing, lost where he could not reach it, made him feel like he was not complete –like this was what he needed to be able to feel truly rooted in the present, in this world that Himawari and Doumeki and Yuuko inhabited.

He wanted to taste his own cooking, he wanted to learn about himself so much that thinking about it hurt, and that was why he tried not to do so, waiting –simply waiting, because surely this would not continue forever.

That woman had denied everything Watanuki was trying so hard not to think about –she refused to eat her own cooking.

Watanuki supposed he should feel angry at least, wasn’t that a normal feeling to have in such a situation? But all he could feel was a profound sadness.

“Ah… you see…” Watanuki stole a glance towards Doumeki, and found him staring at him.

The intensity of that stare unnerved him and made him feel like Doumeki could see perhaps a little bit too much of him, and for a second he wished to cover himself up somehow, so that those eyes would not look at him like that.

After that lesson, he had been so out of sorts that Mokona’s suggestion to stop at Doumeki’s place to drink alcohol had gathered absolutely no complaints. In fact, Watanuki had welcomed the idea. He had promised himself to stop denying himself things he wanted to do, and he had wanted to see Doumeki. In the end, he couldn’t deny that Doumeki’s presence made him feel less upset about his problems somehow, and this time hadn’t been an exception. Just talking to him about the woman had helped Watanuki feel a little better, more secure about what he wanted to do.

Maybe it would have been the same if he’d talked it out with Yuuko, but the fact that Doumeki had been there and willing to listen to his problems still mattered. And in the end, Yuuko and Doumeki were definitely different people, even if both were dear to him.

Despite that, that woman’s refusal still bothered him, which was what had made him determined to get her to reconsider her stance. The woman’s rejection was a rejection towards everything Watanuki strived to know about himself, and perhaps worse, it was a rejection towards her own self.

“The lessons are going well,” he finally told Himawari. There was no real reason to keep it to himself, or just between himself and Doumeki, but Watanuki did not want to bother Himawari with dark thoughts that he couldn’t really express well, so he decided to skip straight to the end. “I’ll continue trying to teach her, until…” _‘until she eats the food she makes’_ he vowed to himself. “Until I’m satisfied,” he finished.

“I’m glad you’re all fired up about this, Watanuki-kun,” Himawari pointed her chopsticks at him, and tried to look serious. “Looking so sad doesn’t suit you at all. I prefer it when you are smiling…” Watanuki felt his heart soar despite himself, “or when you do those little sketches with Doumeki-kun, even though it’s been a while since you’ve done one! But this closeness between you two makes me happy too!”

Watanuki coughed and buried his face in his cup of tea, feeling his cheeks burn at her assumptions. Yes, his attitude towards Doumeki had changed but it wasn’t that noticeable and surely he hadn’t stopped squabbling with him, either…

“E-either way!” he said, perhaps a bit too loudly. “I decided to ask Yuuko-san to let me continue our lessons at the store instead of that woman’s house”.

Himawari nodded. “When is she coming then?”

“It’s going to be next week, just as usual,” glad the conversation had returned on steadier grounds, Watanuki cleared his throat and absently grabbed the thermos to fill Doumeki’s cup once again, as he’d recognised the particular look in Doumeki’s eyes that meant he was going for seconds and would need more to drink to swallow everything.

Really, that guy was a bottomless pit when it came to food.

***

“Ready to give it a go?”

Watanuki nodded.

He had slipped into a dream without a problem, going to bed as usual with Mokona cuddled up to him, and as he had expected, he had woken up inside Yuuko’s dream shop.

It was still dark outside, but not a full moon, the sky strangely covered with some heavy, grey clouds. Watanuki was too busy feeling satisfied that he had recognised quickly that he was in a dream to take notice of them, and when Haruka had walked towards him from behind a corner of the store, his attention had moved to him.

“Good evening, Haruka-san,” he greeted the older man, who lifted one hand to salute him, the same gentle smile on his lips. “Yeah, I already called Touya-san earlier this evening to tell him where I thought we could meet up, and he seemed to think it was a good idea,” he told him.

“Well, this time I won’t help you,” Haruka replied, the smile taking an amused edge. “This is something you should be able to learn on your own, otherwise it wouldn’t feel as satisfying to you, am I right?”

With a sheepish smile, Watanuki nodded.

He could have asked Haruka to help him reach the Sensou-ji, but he hadn’t wanted to do so, determined to do it by himself, and Haruka seemed to have realised this already since he had not offered to help either.

“Be careful,” Haruka said once again, voice serious, and he absently covered his mouth with his hand to take his cigarette. Watanuki had the distinct feeling he was not smiling, but when the man removed his hand, he looked still the same as before, so Watanuki shook his head.

“Of course,” he replied. “I’ll be ok”.

He closed his eyes, determined to make sure he would get to the right place and not have Touya wait for him too long, and pictured the Sensou-ji as the last time he had seen it in a dream –empty and quiet, covered by a blanket of darkness.

Seconds ticked by, and when Watanuki dared to check, one eye opening, he saw Haruka staring at him in amusement, but he was still in Yuuko’s backyard.

“What am I doing wrong?” he asked out loud, frustration replacing the earlier calm. “I thought I would be able to go there easily…?”

“Kimihiro-kun…”

“No, wait! I can… I will do it,” Watanuki hastened to reassure the man, shaking his head and shutting both eyes close again. “Sensou-ji… hmmm…”

He tried to concentrate again, feeling a trickle of disappointment fill him when he realised that if he couldn’t get to the Sensou-ji before morning, he would have wasted Touya’s time and his precious hours of sleep, not to mention Yukito’s energy too, since he was the one who had offered to lend Touya his power so that he could teach Watanuki.

Watanuki hadn’t known at first how Touya and Yukito could travel through dreams, and they had told him only after they had already promised him they’d help –he had tried to refuse then, appalled at the thought of Yukito foregoing a night’s sleep just for the sake of teaching him the ropes of dream walking, but Yukito had reassured him, more than once, that he knew what he was doing, and he would gladly do it if it meant Watanuki could learn something.

So, with such kind offer, Watanuki could not afford to waste time.

Then he paused, his mind stuck between thinking about Touya and trying to keep a clear image of the temple as he’d seen it in a dream. Maybe that was the problem –the temple in the dream was just a reflection of how the place was in reality, so to go there he shouldn’t focus on it as it was within the dream world, but actually…

“Hey”.

Watanuki was startled and his eyes fluttering open, and he found himself looking at Touya, who had a tiny smile on his lips.

“Ah! I did it!”

He looked around, just to make sure he was truly at the temple, and realised that he had picked a spot nearby the Kaminarimon, and behind him was one of the two statues protected by the metallic railing, towering over him and looking as ominous as it had been the day he’d seen it for the first time.

“I knew you would do it,” Touya said, his tone so full of certainty that Watanuki felt a wave of pride fill him. “Moving through dreams is not as instinctual as it seems, sometimes it needs something to trigger the shift. Do you want to move somewhere else so that we can sit down, or is this place good enough?”

Watanuki turned to look at him. “Anywhere is fine now, right?” he said out loud. “Maybe we could stay closer to the temple? Haruka-san said this place is filled with a purifying aura, so…”

Touya nodded, then walked through the Kaminarimon and Watanuki hurried up to follow him.

“You’ve mentioned Haruka-san during the phone call earlier,” Touya said, trying to make conversation to cover the fact that he was feeling a bit awkward now that it was just him and Watanuki, without Yukito there. “Who is that?”

“Ah! It’s Doumeki’s grandfather,” Watanuki replied with a smile. “He saved me from a creature once because I bought his dream presence from Doumeki, and since then he has visited me often through dreams”.

Touya frowned a bit at that. “If you had someone who could travel through dreams already, why did you…?”

Watanuki, a bit flustered, was not sure how to answer that. “It honestly didn’t occur me to ask Haruka-san for help, and then I never really knew when he’d appear next, and I was always a bit occupied every time we’ve spoken,” he admitted, looking away from Touya. “I asked you without thinking, really… I’m sorry if that ended up being a bother–”

“Not at all,” Touya hastily reassured him, receiving a small smile from Watanuki.

“–and after that Haruka-san said he wouldn’t be able to teach me much, since he’s only here in spirit,” Watanuki finished, rubbing the back of his head.

“Huh?”

“Oh, that’s because Doumeki’s grandfather died when we were in second grade,” Watanuki added helpfully, turning to look at Touya with a small smile, not noticing the shock on his face. “I was only able to meet him because of the Yumekai’s dream balloon…”

“It seems like you have quite a few things to tell,” Touya muttered, shaking his head. “Dead grandfathers, dream balloons… maybe one of these days you could tell me and Yukito all about it, if you want”.

Watanuki looked up at the temple as they walked closer to it, and smiled wistfully, wondering for a fleeting moment whether he would still be there by then, and Touya, watching that expression, felt his heart clench painfully, and once again reached out, about to touch Watanuki’s shoulder…

A clattering sound echoed from somewhere at their right, and both Watanuki and Touya were startled and spun around at the same time, trying to locate the source of the noise even as it stopped as abruptly as it had started.

“Who–”

Watanuki squinted, but the only thing he could see close by was the temple’s wire stand where visitors tied their negative omikuji before leaving, and nothing seemed amiss there. he remembered it since Doumeki himself had tied his own bad fortune to it when they had visited the temple the week before.

Touya scanned the perimeter of the temple’s grounds, frowning and getting ready to push Watanuki away from harm’s way if it came down to it, and then the clattering noise started again, and as both he and Watanuki spun around again, they could finally see the cause of the commotion.

The structure with the omikuji tied into neat rows was vibrating, and under their eyes it started rattling and shaking, as if shaken by invisible hands.

Watanuki’s eyes widened when he saw dark smoke envelop the whole stand, and he unconsciously took a step back, his attention caught by a specific fortune paper that was dripping slick, black oil onto the ground, and from which the smoke seemed to be coming from.

He hadn’t thought that he would be able to find this sort of smoke even in dreams, and the thought chilled him, especially as he could start to smell the disgusting stench coming from the smoke even from this far, and it was worse than what he’d ever found before in reality.

The smell of the smoke seemed to drench the air itself, making it thick and slick, and Watanuki brought one hand to his mouth, trying to stop himself from breathing it.

“Touya-san, what is…”

“I have no idea, kid,” Touya was staring at the stand with narrowed eyes; though he couldn’t see the dark smoke himself, he could feel something ominous coming from there, and he still could see the structure rattling. “Maybe it’s better if we leave this place right now, before–”

It was too late.

The dark, murky cloud of smoke seemed to expand to encompass the entire stand of omikuji, black oil dripping onto every single piece of paper before swallowing them, and the more bad fortune slips it touched, the bigger and fouler it seemed to get.

Like a nightmarish vision, little eyes blinked open from various parts of the black cloud, winking and directing their sight around before zooming in on Watanuki, who felt dread pool inside him at that, realising that once again he was becoming the target of something bad.

“T-Touya-san, get away from me,” he said, his voice steely despite how much he wanted to retch at the smell.

“What are you saying? I’m not going to let you face this thing on your own… or face this thing at all, either,” Touya stepped closer to him, one hand reaching out to grab Watanuki’s wrist, pulling him closer to him and then behind his back, trying to get him out of the sight of the monster in front of them.

As it grew more powerful bit by bit, absorbing the dark feelings of the bad fortunes tied to the post, it also became clearer to Touya’s eyes, until he could see more than just a fuzzy, blurry blot.

“No, you don’t get it!” Watanuki tried to pull free, but Touya was not allowing it. “It’ll follow me, so just get away! I can–”

“You can what? Fight it off yourself? As if I’d let you do that!” Touya was not looking at him, but his voice was steely and angry as he scolded him, and Watanuki couldn’t help but feel weirdly chastised.

He had been through a lot of similar situations in the past, and through every single one, he had done what he could on his own, only starting to rely on others after he’d met Yuuko, and just because she had slowly chipped away at his resolve, making him realise he could not do everything by himself.

But this… he _knew_ how to deal with this.

If he could just return to Yuuko’s shop, he knew –he just knew– that the kekkai surrounding it would dissolve the creature away, just like it had in the past, the first time Watanuki had touched it.

“I’ll go to the store,” he told Touya, still trying to free himself. “The kekkai…”

“I don’t think you can do that on your own, when we didn’t even start on your first lesson,” Touya grunted, backing away from the creature and pushing Watanuki with him, still careful to keep him shielded behind him. “And I can’t go there, which would imply I should leave you alone, and what if you can’t go there and just keep zooming elsewhere while you run?”

Watanuki gritted his teeth. He hadn’t thought about that.

“Let’s leave the temple for now,” Touya decided. “Once we’re out of here, I’ll force us both awake, this way we should be–”

The creature chose this moment to move towards them, with a speed neither had expected it to have for its size and its sluggish movements until them; it expanded in the air and coils of smoke darted out towards them, extending like tentacles to grab them.

Touya reacted instinctively and threw himself to the right, dragging Watanuki with him. His intention had been to avoid the attack and then jump back on his feet, running in the opposite direction and making sure Watanuki was safe, but he hadn’t expected Watanuki to oppose resistance, crouching low and then propelling himself the other way, effectively slipping out of his grip.

Touya rolled and was on his feet just one moment later, but Watanuki was even faster, and was already sprinting towards the temple instead of out of it, reflecting that if he managed to get inside or at least close enough to the shrine, the purifying aura would surely chase away the creature, and at the same time keep it away from Touya, who was not its target.

“Kimihiro!”

Watanuki stumbled a bit, shocked to hear Touya use his name, and gritted his teeth, now even more determined to drag that creature away from him; at the same time he could not stop the flare of embarrassed, flustered warmth at that even though they hadn’t known each other long enough to be on a name basis.

The creature followed him right away, floating in chase even as Watanuki ran across the courtyard of the temple, and he realised two things as he dared to glance behind him –without a doubt, Touya would try to follow, and the creature was probably faster than Watanuki himself was.

One of the tendrils reached out to grab him, darting out to wrap around his wrist, and Watanuki choked back a disgusted and pained cry as he was assaulted by a wave of nausea and familiarity at the touch.

It had been a long time since he’d had to run from a creature that was chasing him like this, and he had not missed it, but this was somewhat worse –he could feel his energy sap away like it was drained from where the monster was touching him, and the smell was amplified in the dream world unlike in reality.

He faltered and stumbled a bit, and the creature downed on him instantly, using this moment of hesitation to send out more tendrils to hold him still.

Watanuki fell to the floor in a heap, panic filling him, and he looked around, searching for something that could help him get free, then his surroundings flickered and changed, wavering just like when he had unknowingly shifted from the temple to the riverside.

Slightly dizzy and disoriented, Watanuki pushed and shoved the tentacles away from him, and then he bumped into something. Startled, he looked up, surprised to see a tree behind him.

“Where the– huh?”

The creature stilled in front of him, tentacles raised in the air and all eyes wriggling and looking around rather than just at Watanuki, and he took a shuddery breath and circled around the tree, backing away as much as possible from it while it was distracted.

It was then that he recognised his surroundings –he was at Doumeki’s place.

“Why…?”

He could not understand why he was there –he hadn’t been thinking about Doumeki at all, and yet he had unconsciously travelled through dreams here, so…?

He had no time to consider the implications of this, because as if suddenly attracted by something, the creature wobbled and retracted its tentacles, its multiple eyes slowly falling shut as it contracted within itself, growing smaller and smaller, until it was the side of a soccer ball and there was only one single eye open.

The eye blinked and looked around, ignoring Watanuki entirely, inky slime dripping down on the ground.

Then it moved –but not towards Watanuki, who was staring at it in shock; it darted towards Doumeki’s house, squishing its way through what looked like an open window, and it took Watanuki a second before he realised what was going on.

“No, stop!”

He rushed forwards, reaching the window and peeking inside, and as he had thought, that was Doumeki’s window.

The room wasn’t big, and he remembered it since he had visited more than once in the past, the most recent with Mokona to drink even if they had been received in the guest room on the other side of the compound, so he knew where to look –and just like he had expected, tucked in the corner there was Doumeki, sleeping.

It was not the first time he had touched on someone’s reality while in the dream world, but this was Doumeki, someone he knew, and hovering above him was the monster, blinking its eye down at him.

“Doumeki!” Watanuki pressed his hands against the windowpane, but Doumeki did not wake up, and the monster did not move away from him either, no matter how much noise Watanuki made, slamming both fists on the glass. “Get away from him!”

The eye turned to look at him then blinked slowly, still not breaking eye contact with Watanuki who was frozen there, then it started to lower itself down on Doumeki, until its appendage seemed to melt with Doumeki’s chest, right where his heart was, and Doumeki was enveloped within a cloud of thick, black smoke.

“Doumeki!” Watanuki, finally pushing away from the window, hurried around the corner of the house to the first sliding door, pushed it open and without thinking about propriety –though id that work when one was inside a dream, and not the actual house?– he ran inside, quickly making his way to Doumeki’s bedroom.

He couldn’t even make it past the entrance, because the smell permeating the air inside the room was too much for him, and he slumped in front of the door, trying to see Doumeki’s body hidden away because of the smoke.

“Doumeki! Oi, Doumeki! Wake up! Are you alright? Doumeki!”

He crawled inside, the foul smell making him cough, but like this he couldn’t even see where the bed was, and he was hit by a wave of nausea and vertigo that took away what little strength he had left after the creature had sapped it earlier.

He slumped on the floor, feeling the cold tiles against his cheek, still trying to drag himself further inside the room, his eyes sliding close without his will–

–and he was startled awake, ripping his blanket away from him and sitting up in bed, heart racing in his chest as Mokona rolled off the bed without even waking up, hitting the floor with a soft, quiet murmur.

“… eh?”


	2. Chapter 02 - Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, second chapter! :)

**Chapter 02 - Silence**

Yukito was sitting quietly in a corner of his and Touya’s bedroom, his breathing even.

When they’d had to decide where they would be more comfortable to stay for the dream sessions, neither Touya nor Yukito had wanted to use their bedroom at first, but in the end what had made them change their minds was the fact that of all the rooms in their house, that was the one they were completely at ease into.

It was the first one they had decorated, and they had bought the bed together, awkward and young even before they had been married, and the familiarity and comfort it gave them was exactly what they both needed during that time.

Surrounded by mementos of his and Touya’s life together, Yukito could easily concentrate on his task, one hand pressed against the earring Yue had given Touya in a dream.

Feeding power into Touya so that he could travel through dreams was tiring, but compared to how many times he’d had to do it before, this was nothing; the worst part was the boredom, which had been a problem during the first few weeks they had started scouting through the dream-world in search of Yuuko.

Yukito had to keep a steady flux of power passing through the earring, as if he gave too much Touya would have an overload and Yukito would faint, but if he gave too little the connection would break and Touya would be startled awake. It had happened more than once at first, as they had to learn through first-hand approach.

Now, with years of practice behind him, Yukito could easily allow his mind to wander a bit, though not enough to do anything strenuous that would distract him –no television, not even a book. At most he could stare at a picture or idly let his mind wander. At least he did not feel that as a bad thing; Yukito was a quiet person with an active mind, and while he did enjoy doing things, he had just an equally good time by thinking, which is what he did during those nights he spent awake for the sake of Touya.

As it was, now his thoughts were focused on what Touya was doing in the dreams, hoping that Watanuki had managed to find his way to the Sensou-ji, so that they could start their lesson.

Having finally found Watanuki… Yukito at times still thought it to be a dream.

They had spent so long searching for him, without even knowing how he would look now, that being able to talk to him so often, and even see him… it was a blessing, and Yukito could see it every day in Touya’s eyes.

The happiest one was obviously Touya –it was the last link to his sister, who had been left behind just like him, but Touya did not seek him for the sake of Sakura either. He simply wanted his nephew back.

In the past Yukito could spend hours teasing Touya about his sister complex, and nowadays he thought he could do the same about his ‘nephew complex’, since there was a particular skip to his step now that wasn’t there before, like he’d suddenly lost a decade the moment he had met with Watanuki.

It made Yukito feel just as young and happy.

Yukito’s train of thoughts was shattered when Touya shifted in his sleep, and then suddenly shot up in the bed, breathing laboured.

“Touya?” the link between them was severed, and Yukito stifled a gasp when some energy that had been shifting in the earring returned to him with a snap. “What happened?”

Touya gritted his teeth and brought one hand to his head, pushing his hair away from his eyes. “I… something was there”.

Yukito hadn’t expected this, and he was instantly filled with worry. “What do you mean with… how’s Kimihiro-kun?”

Touya slammed his fist on the mattress at his side. “That stupid kid thought to run away from me, and I think he shifted elsewhere while he was running… I lost him and I have no idea where he is”.

Heart seized in a tight grip of worry, Yukito tried to stand, though he wobbled a bit, and Touya did the same, looking rattled. “Touya, what do you think we should–”

“I don’t know,” Touya looked lost, and angry, and Yukito mirrored those feelings as well. “If he’s still in a dream, I need to go back there and help, but he could be anywhere and I don’t know how to…”

The ringing of the phone, sudden and loud in the silence of the night, startled them both.

For a long second, they remained frozen, staring at each other in shock, as the ringing continued on, undisturbed.

“Who…?” Yukito turned around, but Touya was faster –he ran past him and into the corridor, hand shaking as it reached towards the phone.

“At this hour, with such a timing…” Touya gritted his teeth and picked up the phone, abruptly stopping its ringing.

There was a moment of silence from the other end, then “He’s safe,” he heard in Yuuko’s calm, even tone.

“Yuuko-san,” Touya clutched the receiver in one hand, head spinning. “You know…?”

Too much had happened in such a short time, and the passage between dream and reality had left him reeling and scared, his heart racing in his chest and adrenaline keeping him high-wired.

He was worried, angry and scared, and hearing Yuuko sound so calm and collected did nothing to calm him down.

“Yes,” she answered, and Touya could picture her smiling slightly from the other end of the phone. “I am perfectly aware of what happened”.

“Then, how–”

“The creature that attacked you at the temple was born due to an unique set of circumstances,” Yuuko replied casually. Touya could not see her, but she was twirling the cord of the phone between her long fingers, stretching it as far as it could go. “It was dwelling in the dream world because the omikuji deal with fortunes, and those are loosely attached to reality. It was attracted by the presence in the dream that was the most powerful at the time, which made it wake from its slumber, but had it not been Watanuki, perhaps the creature would not have awakened at all”.

Touya felt his blood turn cold. “Will it…”

“It will not bring Watanuki any harm. In fact, the creature already attached itself to someone else, and Watanuki is presently running to his house to check on him”.

“What does that mean? What can I do? I made Kimihiro go there, I should be able to do something! Is it something I can pay for?”

Yukito heard this and stood straighter, as he had slouched a bit before, caught up with the fatigue. If there was another price to pay, he would give half of it without thinking about it, especially if it could help Watanuki. He shifted closer, enough that he could hear Yuuko in the silence of the room.

“No, this is not something you will have to pay for, Touya-san,” Yuuko replied, pursing her lips. She paused again, considering the subject, then smiled to herself. “This is something Watanuki-kun will have to see for himself, as it is hitsuzen. It is not in your hands to do anything, though nothing prevents you from calling the store tomorrow to check up on him, hmm?”

Touya wondered for a moment, idly, whether he would have to buy another phone the following day, as he was clenching the receiver so tightly he felt it would snap in his hand.

“You can’t ask me to stand on the side and let Kimihiro face… that creature, whatever that was, on his own,” he hissed in the phone, shaking his head. “I didn’t search for him for so long just to see him slip through my fingers right when I've just found him!”

Yuuko sighed in the phone, and her voice after that was weary. “It is not yet the time where your presence in Watanuki’s life will help make that choice,” she murmured softly, but loud enough that Touya heard it. “You already changed him, and that outstretched hand has already made his future different. No, this is something that Watanuki needs to learn on his own, and it is a matter of his own heart that will have to be resolved by him, and him alone. You can be present, you can offer your help, but in the end he will be the one to make up his mind about this”.

Touya closed his eyes. “I can’t stand by and watch him do everything alone,” he whispered just as wearily.

“Touya-san, what you did not realise yet is that when it comes to hitsuzen, even looking on from the side is enough to change one’s future”.

The phone call clicked shut, and Touya was left listening to the empty tone of the phone until he finally shook himself and placed it back down.

The rage had been washed away, and now he was just weary, tired and worn out.

“Tomorrow morning, we will call,” Yukito caressed his face with one warm hand, then cradled Touya’s head in his arms and held him close, offering him as much support as he could. “Even if this is all we can do for him, we’ll do it”.

Touya nodded his consent and closed his eyes, abandoning himself to Yukito’s warm hug, fists clenched tightly at his sides.

***

The streets were completely empty around him.

Watanuki ran without even looking at his surroundings, barely aware of the weird shadows flickering in the dark around him; he barely noticed when he scraped his knuckles on a narrow curve of the street, brushing past a wall to keep going, and if he happened to slip and stagger he just kept going, righting himself up without stopping.

Heart pounding in his chest, he had stumbled out of bed, confused and dizzy, and the horrifying realisation that he had been forced out of the dream-world hit him like a punch.

He had left Doumeki there, at the mercy of that creature.

Watanuki did not hesitate, and barely bothered to put on his clothes as he left the store in a hurry, shivering in the chilly air of the night as he passed past the kekkai and into the street, headed for Doumeki’s house.

He did not know what he would do –or what he _could_ do– in such a situation, but he couldn’t let Doumeki face the creature all on his own, especially when Watanuki was the one who’d brought it to him. It was _his_ fault.

If Doumeki was hurt because of him… _again_ …

 _‘No, I can’t think like this,’_ Watanuki shook his head, panting harshly as he turned the last corner and finally caught sight of the outer wall of Doumeki’s house in front of him.

There he skidded to a halt, eyes widening in shock as it occurred to him that while in the dream-world he had no compulsions about property, now he was not in a dream and as such if he were to enter the house without permission, Doumeki (and his mother) would probably have something to say about it.

Still, his worry about Doumeki was stronger than that.

“Kyuu?”

Startled out of his hesitation, Watanuki felt something slither against his back, fur tickling him and making him squirm as he bounced around, digging one hand inside his shirt and tugging a very excited Mugetsu out of it. The kudakitsune had been sleeping coiled around his neck and had woken up when he’d shot out of his bed, but after that Watanuki hadn’t paid any attention to the little creature, too busy getting dressed and running out of the store.

“You… you came with me?” oddly touched, Watanuki tapped the fox’s head with one finger before redirecting his attention towards the house, eyes alight with determination. “Please lend me your strength, Mugetsu,” he asked.

With the Kudakitsune with him, he felt like he had a little edge against the creature, and just his presence was a huge reassurance.

Without wasting time anymore, he ran inside the temple grounds.

Just like in the dream, everything was calm, and he headed immediately to the window of Doumeki’s bedroom, feeling more like a stalker now than in the dream as he peeked inside.

The room was not enveloped with the dark smoke, which was reassuring, and Watanuki’s eyes zeroed on Doumeki’s body, only to recoil in shock when he noticed that there was something around him that he couldn’t see but that he could _feel_ , even with the wall and the window between them.

It was a sensation not unlike what he had felt when the spirit had touched him in the dream, only fainter, but still enough to make him feel sick.

He opened his mouth to call Doumeki’s name, but then clamped his teeth shut. He could not wake up the whole house and the neighbourhood just to get Doumeki up, but…

He tapped on the glass of the window insistently, trying to strain his senses towards Doumeki, forcing himself to ignore the sick feeling he got in order to try and sense deeper than that, to find that creature, but to no avail. He had only a vague understanding of the spirit world, but the mechanics of his own powers were still an incognita for him.

Around his neck, Mugetsu squeaked softly and gave Watanuki a warning tug, determined to get him away from the window.

“What…? Mugetsu, why are you– augh!”

Mugetsu tried with all his might to get Watanuki to follow him away from the window, looking so frantic that Watanuki paused in his attempts to wake Doumeki and stared at him. “Mugetsu, this is no time to get in the way! It’s Doumeki, and I have to help him! Why do you want to stop me…?”

Of course, the little Kudakitsune could not answer, but that did not make his attempts to get Watanuki away any less desperate. He could feel something more than Watanuki himself could, as the spirit was more attuned to things like that than Watanuki ever could be, and he could feel the rotten miasma coming from Doumeki’s body with much more clarity, and it scared him.

“Mugetsu, stop it!” Watanuki made to turn around again, and Mugetsu tightened his hold around his neck, tugging with all his might. “Mugetsu, no!”

“Oi”.

Watanuki reacted instinctively, turning around with an angry frown. “My name is not oi!”

Then he blinked.

In his squabble with Mugetsu, he had turned away from the window, and now that he was looking again he found himself facing a somewhat unsettled Doumeki standing at the window, holding it open with one hand, and looking down at Watanuki with a small frown.

If this had been any other occasion, he would perhaps have laughed at Doumeki’s bed hair, but as it was all he could do was stare with his mouth hanging open in shock.

“… D… Doumeki!”

Watanuki darted forwards, and grabbed Doumeki by his arm, checking him over, almost expecting to see some kind of physical damage or proof that the spirit had attacked him, but he could find nothing.

Doumeki allowed himself to be manhandled without a word, as he was far too tired and confused to see Watanuki in his garden this late at night and his brain couldn’t exactly process what was going on.

It was also really cold in his pyjamas and with the window open.

“Is this a dream?” he asked instead, the frown still present.

“Of course not! Though… you don’t remember anything, do you?” Watanuki pressed his lips into a thin line. “No of course not, you were sleeping even there, so…”

“You are making no sense,” Doumeki informed him. “What are you doing here”.

“I was… I was…!” Watanuki frowned, then looked down at Mugetsu, who was calm and was not tugging him away anymore. “Why aren’t you trying to stop me now?” he asked.

Mugetsu made a small sound, then curled around Watanuki’s neck and rubbed his cheek against him, as if asking him to focus. Watanuki blinked and looked at Doumeki again, and his eyes widened when he could feel nothing coming from him anymore –no miasma, no bad feeling, nothing.

Just the same Doumeki as always, and awake too.

“I just… I…”

Doumeki observed him for a second, noticing the way his fists were clenched and how Watanuki refused to look at him in the eye, and sighed.

“Come in, my room’s filling with cold air”.

Then, instead of going to open the main door for Watanuki, he simply slid open the window fully and offered Watanuki a hand.

“Coming in from the window?!” forgetting for a moment the situation he had been into just moments prior, Watanuki glared at the other, then composed himself and covered his mouth with both hands, as he did not want to alert Doumeki’s mother of his presence. “That is… that…”

“My mother’s room is near the entrance, and she is a light sleeper. She won’t hear your yelling from there, but if I pass by her door she will wake up, and then we’d have to explain why you’re standing in front of my bedroom window in the middle of the night”.

Faced with Doumeki’s deadpan words, Watanuki felt his cheeks redden in embarrassment, and mounted over the window, sliding inside the room and pointedly ignoring the offered hand.

Doumeki quickly closed the window behind him, and instead of turning around to look at Watanuki for an explanation as to why he was there, he made to leave the room.

“Where… where are you going?” Watanuki’s hand darted out to grab the edge of Doumeki’s sleeve, not wanting to lose sight of him now.

Doumeki looked down at where Watanuki was holding him for a few seconds, puzzling over the situation, then he looked up. “Tea,” he said, as if it was obvious.

Watanuki hesitantly let go of his sleeve, and thankfully Doumeki did not mention the way his hand was trembling. “Come,” he said instead, acknowledging Watanuki’s unspoken ask without fail.

The two walked down the corridor, moving down the other way from Doumeki’s mother’s bedroom, and reached the kitchen in complete silence; Watanuki slumped down at the table and observed Doumeki put up a pot of water on the stove and take out two cups from a cupboard, marvelling at the sight of something so… domestic and normal.

After the panic he’d felt in the dream and the frantic urgency while running to Doumeki’s house, this was an abrupt change.

It was, in a way, deeply anti-climactic.

“You are… are you feeling ok?” he asked, his voice shaking slightly.

Doumeki turned to stare at him, eyes narrowed a bit, then nodded. “Shouldn’t I be?” he asked instead.

Watanuki waited until the water was boiling and he had a steaming cup of tea in front of him tightly clenched in his hands before he finally recounted everything that he had seen in the dream, and how he had been startled out of it and had ran all the way to the temple, only to be unable to wake Doumeki up.

Getting the whole story out, even if with fumbling words and not really coherent, helped Watanuki calm down even more, and with seeing Doumeki in front of him, apparently fine and unharmed he was finally able to let go of some of the panic in his chest, the knot loosening and making him slump a little against the table. Around his neck, Mugetsu continued to rub his little cheek against his chin, a clear attempt to comfort him.

Doumeki allowed him to finish, then stood up and circled around the table, stopping at his side and waiting until Watanuki looked up at him.

“Do you feel anything now?”

Watanuki shook his head. “No, and Mugetsu doesn’t either, or he wouldn’t have let me get close,” he said. Mugetsu let out a soft crooning noise, then unrolled from Watanuki’s neck and pushed himself forwards until he bumped head against Doumeki’s hand. “You… do you feel any different?”

Doumeki shook his head, then scratched his throat absently. “Maybe the purifying powers I have chased the spirit away,” he offered, as he had no other explanation at hand.

Watanuki looked at him, lips curved in a displeased frown, but he had to admit that it sounded possible. He had thought to go to the store, or even towards the main temple grounds at the Sensou-ji to exorcise the creature and force it to go away, and Doumeki helped him keep the spirits at bay, so it was possible that it had worked for that one too?

He sipped the tea absently and watched as Doumeki returned to sit down in front of him, careful to keep him where he could look at him.

There was still a nagging feeling deep inside him that something was wrong, an irrational fear he couldn’t really quench that it was his fault, but Doumeki looked fine, and he could feel that presence no more, and…

He yawned, feeling incredibly tired. The adrenaline that had kept him up and running until then was gone, and Watanuki felt a wave of fatigue hit him.

“I should… return to the store,” he muttered, shaking his head and standing up.

He was reluctant to go, but he had to get out and calm down, and they had school the next day, and…

“I’m going to unroll the spare futon,” Doumeki stated, standing up again. “Come on”.

Watanuki, startled and surprised, looked up. Doumeki was staring at him again, almost like he was expecting something, but Watanuki had no idea what and he was too tired to refuse. He rubbed his eyes and got up, stumbling after Doumeki, feeling somewhat relieved but also angry at himself for imposing on him.

It hit him like a brick only later, when he was sliding inside the futon and watching Doumeki flick the lights of the room off, that this was the first time he’d slept at his house, ever.

It didn’t seem that long ago when he had been thinking the same about sleeping so often at Yuuko’s house, and how natural it felt to stay there whenever he could, how familiar and homey it was there, but here… here it was different.

This was Doumeki’s house.

He had been invited at his house often, and sometimes Yuuko had invited herself and him along to drink, and once Mokona, too… but this was different. He’d never overstayed his welcome.

“Doumeki…?”

He only received a soft grunt as a reply, but it was good enough.

“Is it ok…?”

“Watanuki,” a long pause, so long Watanuki started to feel annoyed. “Sleep. We have school”.

“I know that! It’s not like I can sleep at will like you! What kind of mindless drone can drop asleep just by wanting to? Not me!”

Doumeki hummed. “Make me tamagoyaki in the morning”.

“I’m not your personal cook, you oaf!” Watanuki’s reaction came as expected, offended but not too loud since he was still mindful not to wake Doumeki’s mother.

“Tamagoyaki,” Doumeki replied with conviction, almost able to taste the delicious egg rolls that he would get for breakfast in the morning, and Watanuki’s soft grumbling reassured him that he would, in fact, get them.

After that, satisfied with himself, Doumeki did not speak anymore, though that did not mean he fell asleep, either.

Watanuki tugged the blankets up to his nose, peeked into the darkness to where Doumeki’s bed was, and sighed. Doumeki seemed normal. Nothing was wrong. He had even demanded food from him like usual, so maybe he had been right. Maybe Doumeki’s latent exorcising powers had been enough to bounce the creature out of him and make it go away.

It was somewhat reassuring, but at the same time Watanuki couldn’t help but worry. He had been useless, and that feeling stung.

He could still remember Doumeki’s motionless body in the dream, and the creature slowly descending on him, and the image was burned in his mind, so even if he could see him apparently fine, Watanuki was still unable to truly relax, even as tired as he was.

In the end, Watanuki was still the first one to fall asleep, tossing and turning for a while before finally finding the right position and succumbing to his fatigue, Mugetsu happily curled up with him, already deeply asleep.

Doumeki remained awake in the dark, eyes straying towards the futon with his unexpected guest every now and then. Even if he couldn’t see Watanuki’s face from where he was, he was still there, and he could see him breathing evenly in the silence.

With what Watanuki had told him, it was no wonder Doumeki found it hard to fall asleep now. He could not remember any dreams from before –not that this was unusual– and Watanuki’s tale had seemed like a fantasy rather than reality. If he hadn’t trusted Watanuki to tell him the truth, he would have dismissed his worries, but of course, he couldn’t.

There was an itch in the back of his throat, and Doumeki pressed his tongue flat against it, trying without avail to scratch it, then coughed, trying to keep quiet, but Watanuki did not even stir, lost to the world.

Shaking his head, Doumeki finally fell into a deep slumber.

The room was once again enveloped in darkness, and with both occupants sleeping, there was nobody to notice the coils of smoke lifting to hover around Doumeki’s face and neck, shifting silently in the dark.

***

The next morning when Watanuki woke up, he found Doumeki already awake and busy sweeping the garden outside the temple.

Watanuki waved at him, relieved to see him up and acting normal, then put himself to work in Doumeki’s kitchen, because a promise was a promise, after all.

Doumeki’s mother did not seem to be surprised to see him armed with a makiyakinabe and in the process of making tamagoyaki in her kitchen so early in the morning, and despite Watanuki’s embarrassment and attempts to explain himself she waved him off with a knowing smile.

It made him wonder exactly what Doumeki had told his mother, to see her so uncaring and accepting of a guest who had appeared unannounced in the night, but he decided not to dwell on it, especially with the fact that he had to finish cooking first.

He was, though, perfectly aware of her sitting down behind him, and her eyes on his back as he busied himself with the rest of the recipe, then with the bento boxes for school; since he was not at Yuuko’s house he could not prepare the usual ones, but Doumeki’s mother brought him some spare boxes to fill, and he took them with a grateful smile, making her smile back at him.

“You are quite good at cooking, Watanuki-kun,” she told him when he finished filling the box for Doumeki, closing the lid and placing it on top of his own. “Your parents taught you well”.

“Thank you,” he told her, feeling warmth blossom in his chest at the gentle words. He hoped he was making his parents proud at least with that. “Ah… this is for… uh, here,” he flushed and offered her a plate of tamagoyaki rolls already sliced in bite-sized pieces.

“Oh my, those are delicious!” Sayaka said, swallowing a piece and then quickly grabbing another. “Shizuka always says your food is good, and I admit I was a bit envious since he’s been eating more of your meals than mine, but this is really good!”

“Ah!” Watanuki, flustered and agitated at the compliment, waved his arms in the air and looked away, smiling happily at the woman’s words. “Don’t say these things, I’m sure your food is better than mine!”

“Well, we’re not in a competition, so I’ll accept your words for now, until I can have you eat what I cook so you can say that again,” she winked at him, and Watanuki’s smile turned softer at the implied invitation.

He was glad to be so welcome in this house, and he could see the family resemblance in Doumeki’s mother –her smile was so similar to Haruka’s one that Watanuki felt a pang of regret, because this woman would never be able to see her father again, while he conversed with him often in his dreams.

Doumeki returned inside the house massaging his throat. After waking up, he’d noticed it hurt a bit while greeting his mother, scratching while he had to explain her about Watanuki’s presence; he had rationalized that it was probably because of the cold air he’d let in the room the previous night, but had refrained from telling Watanuki anyway, knowing that the other was already throwing up a fuss because of the dream spirit Doumeki had not even seen, and admitting he might be getting sick would get him too agitated for Doumeki’s liking.

So, instead of mentioning it, he ate the tamagoyaki Watanuki had prepared while he was cleaning around the temple grounds, and watched as he made some small talk with his mother, who kept stealing glances towards him and smiling maybe a bit too pointedly for his liking.

Truth was, Doumeki had never brought a friend home before. His mother was expressing her pride and pleasure in finally getting to meet one of her son’s friends, especially one that received so much praise –at least in regards to his food– from Doumeki.

It wasn’t that Doumeki was averse to having friends, or having company over. It was simply that despite having a lot of people around who enjoyed his presence and wanted to be around him, he preferred to keep to himself, as he only ever got close to people he found interesting… and this far, that list included only two people.

He really did not mind that one bit.

“We’re going,” he finally said, interrupting one of his mother’s tales about his childhood. Watanuki seemed rather disappointed, since it was one of those stories that normal people would consider embarrassing –Doumeki had no such compunctions though, as he believed that childhood was comprised of silly and stupid things that would be retold with fondness later on in life, so there was no point getting embarrassed for things one did as a kid– but bowed to Doumeki’s mother, grabbed the bento boxes, and left with Doumeki.

Once they were on the street, without a word Doumeki grabbed the bag with their lunch from Watanuki and carried it, still remembering Watanuki’s words from what felt like a lifetime before, on how they should share the weight and the burden between them; Watanuki observed him take the bag, scrutinizing him for a second, then looked away.

Doumeki had always been particularly good at observing things rather than acting on them, which was mostly a good thing, and lately it did not take much to notice that Watanuki seemed to act differently towards him –not _warmly_ per se, but less defensively. Doumeki idly wondered what that meant.

As the silence between them stretched on, not an uncomfortable one but simply a silence, Doumeki stole a glance at his companion; Kohane had asked him to help Watanuki, because something would surely come, and Doumeki had to admit that while he was willing to do what he could, it was difficult to be prepared for something he did not know about.

If only Yuuko could be less cryptic, Doumeki would at least feel less wary about the future, even if he did not look the part. If anything, Touya had been far more open about things, and the guy had only met Watanuki a couple weeks before.

Thinking about Touya and what his possible relation with Watanuki could be made Doumeki frown and he felt his mood slowly get worse, so instead of focusing on that man, he steered his thoughts back to Watanuki, who was safer territory.

With how much time the two spent with each other, it was no wonder most of Doumeki’s already restricted world seemed to circle around Watanuki, but for someone who had spent most of his life keeping to himself, having only casual friends but nothing that seemed to take his interest, being around Watanuki was… weird.

The words he’d said to Kohane during their visit to the old lady’s house had been true –he had not given much hope to whatever existed between them. Not at first. Or at least he had tried not to, but despite how annoying Watanuki could become, and how many times his attitude made Doumeki want to leave, he never did.

He _did_ like Watanuki.

The fact that at times he felt like Watanuki did not like him, or at least did not want to admit to liking him too, or even to enjoying having him around, was part of the problem, and Doumeki hadn’t lied about that either.

And yet… it wasn’t the entire truth either. Watanuki seemed different lately, and had not rebuked Touya and Yukito’s mentions of them being friends as he would have done in the past –and even when Himawari had called them good friends, Watanuki had not denied it.

Honestly a part of Doumeki was wondering whether it was Watanuki who had been possessed by a spirit, rather than him, because Watanuki’s slow change of mind about him was unexpected, though not unwelcome. Still, it was weird. Doumeki wondered whether there would be a catch somewhere.

In a way, his own thoughts about Watanuki were not exactly what he had let Kohane know, either –but Doumeki was not one to share his thoughts so easily, as words could be easily misconstrued and twisted, and there was more to it than even he could think, but at least Kohane had seemed to know what had been left unsaid anyway, because the warmth in her eyes when she had clutched his hand, the moment they had shared as both of them cared for Watanuki more than simple words could convey, had been obvious enough.

As he once again looked at him walking at his side, Doumeki found himself meeting Watanuki’s gaze –those mismatched eyes one of which belonged in part to him. Watanuki, unlike what he would have done before, did not look away in a haste, muttering something uncomplimentary about him, and instead withstood his gaze for a few seconds –and when he did look away, he did it without hurry and perhaps a little bit too subdued.

“How…” Watanuki stopped there for a moment, then seemed to come to a decision because he stared at Doumeki again, this time in defiance. “I made inarizushi for lunch,” he said, jutting out his chin.

Doumeki’s eyes slipped down from his eyes for a second, then he looked back at the street. “And shogayaki?” he asked, and it was a testament of how much their weird friendship had changed that he did not know exactly what to expect.

“No! I wouldn’t inconvenience your mother by doing something like that in her kitchen!” Watanuki huffed, crossing his arms. “She had some burdock root, so I made kinpira gobo instead. She said you don’t mind that”.

Doumeki cleared his throat, still finding it itchy, but said nothing. It was true he liked it –his grandmother used to make it with some extra dressing because that was the way his grandfather liked it.

Watanuki seemed to take that as a consent because he nodded to himself with the smallest upwards curve of his lips, looking pleased, and Doumeki tightened his grip on the bento box.

“I’ll make shogayaki next time,” he said, acting like he was making a huge favour to Doumeki, but that tiny smile was gone again, and Doumeki knew that despite how casual he tried to act, Watanuki was still out of sorts because of the previous night.

Unfortunately, there was nothing he could say that would put Watanuki’s mind at ease, and Doumeki’s throat was still scratchy, so he just hummed and left it at that, hoping that Watanuki would see that nothing was wrong and calm down.

It seemed that the trip between Doumeki’s house and the school was shorter than ever, because they reached the school in what felt no time at all, and then split ways, Watanuki back with the bento boxes and Doumeki left empty handed, watching the other leave while absently massaging his throat.

Then he turned around and went to his class.

***

Because of unforeseen circumstances, for the first time since ever Watanuki was the last one to arrive to their usual lunch spot.

He was rarely late –ever since he could remember, Watanuki had always been the first to get to their meeting place, with Doumeki or Himawari or both arriving right after him, so it was surprising even for him when he realised he was running late, and lunchtime had already started without him.

Watanuki had been about to leave his class as usual when someone had attracted his attention, for no particular reason at all; it was a girl, one with short cropped hair and glasses, and she looked rather unassuming, sitting a few seats behind him during class, but today there was something different about her that made Watanuki hesitate.

He did not know her at all –in fact he had never spoken with anyone in class other than the few times he had shared a project, or answered a question about some thing or another– so he didn’t know why today was so different from any other day, but Watanuki spent a few minutes shuffling with his things and glancing at her, trying to understand what was wrong…

And finally he realised it was the headband she was wearing; he could feel something coming from it, but he had no idea what he was feeling, nor whether it was good or bad.

Watanuki stood up from his seat, determined to understand what was so weird about a headband that had attracted his attention, but by then it was too late –the girl, who had been chatting with one of her friends, stood up and left the classroom, and though Watanuki grabbed his things and tried to follow her, once he got in the corridor he could not find her anymore. it was only then he realised he was late for lunch, and forgot all about the girl, determined to seek her out afterwards, and hurried towards his usual lunch spot.

He flopped down next to Himawari, an apology on his lips as he looked up, hands already digging into his bag for the bento boxes, and then stopped when he noticed that both Doumeki and Himawari looked tense and grim, and a wave of dread washed over him, all thoughts of the girl and her weird headband vanishing from his mind.

“What… what’s wrong?” he asked, fingers tightening around one of the lunch boxes.

Himawari turned towards Doumeki, who looked sour and annoyed, one hand coming to touch his throat, then she looked back at Watanuki. “Doumeki-kun can’t speak,” she said.

The words didn’t quite register in Watanuki’s mind, and he found himself chuckling hesitantly, almost as if expecting some sort of follow-up to that. “Er… I know he’s not the best conversationalist ever but…”

“No, I mean it, Watanuki-kun,” Himawari shook her head, still looking really worried. “He was called to answer a question in class and he couldn’t say a word!”

Watanuki felt something in his stomach drop. “Doumeki?”

Doumeki swallowed, a look of distaste on his face, then opened his mouth and seemed to try to say something. Nothing came out –no sound, not even a huff.

He had been fine, he really had –it was just a constant itch in his throat that had given him some trouble all morning, but during the few classes before lunch time that itch had progressed into an uncomfortable feeling close to pain, and then he had been unable to speak when asked to.

The professor had looked surprised, then concerned, when he had pressed one hand to his throat and tried to say something once more, and then had allowed him to go to the infirmary for a quick check, not wanting him to be in class while sick.

The nurse had been unable to find anything wrong with him, simply dismissing it as a cold when Doumeki had written down that he had caught some cold breeze the previous night.

“Doumeki-kun has been told to go home, but he wanted to…” Himawari trailed off when Doumeki leaned forwards and plucked one of Watanuki’s bento boxes from his slackened hands, opened it and proceeded to stuff his mouth with food. “Well, he likes your meals a lot, Watanuki-kun,” she added with a sheepish look, a small smile making a fleeting appearance on her lips before disappearing again.

It was obvious she was worried, and Watanuki wondered if she was afraid that Doumeki’s weird situation was her fault. After all, Himawari lived counting down the days when her friends would notice about her curse bringing misfortune to others and leave, and even if Watanuki had promised her he would not go, and Doumeki’s powers nullified her curse, she still couldn’t help but try and distance herself from them even now in fear they would end up seriously hurt one day.

Eyes wide, he pointed a finger at Doumeki. “Don’t worry about that oaf! That’s just a cold, a cold! Guess he’s an exception to the ‘fools don’t get cold’ rule, huh?”

That made Himawari smile a bit again, even if it was just as hesitant as before, and she shook her head. “It’s just that…”

“Yuuko-san said that Doumeki is impervious to that,” he interrupted her. “Absolutely!”

Doumeki paused with his chopsticks hovering in front of his mouth, and nodded.

The lack of grunts and hums and other assorted small sounds was weird, and it made Watanuki more aware that something was wrong. Obviously, he could dismiss this sudden situation as just a cold, as the school nurse had said, but…

But that would be just deluding himself, and lying to Himawari.

“It is my fault, isn’t it?” he asked quietly. Then he looked up from his hands to meet Doumeki’s eyes, jutting out his chin as if to dare him to deny it. “It’d be easy to say it was just a coincidence that you got a cold right after last night, but…” but they both knew that there was no coincidence in this world.

Doumeki took a deep breath and swallowed. The food was just as delicious as always, but it was hard to enjoy every bite when his throat hurt every time he swallowed. Still, between that uncomfortable feeling and missing lunch, it was obvious which one he chose, especially when the food had been made by Watanuki.

He deliberately picked up another piece of inarizushi and shoved it in his mouth, eyes narrowed a bit and staring Watanuki down as he munched on it. Somehow, it seemed like he conveyed the right message, because Watanuki’s tense shoulders dropped a bit, and he looked away with a small pout.

“Doesn’t matter,” Watanuki said, one hand clenched in his lap and the other still holding the remaining bento boxes. “You’re coming with me to the store”.

Doumeki weighted the pros and cons, cringing when he swallowed again, then nodded, and Watanuki’s expression cleared instantly.

After all, if this was truly just a cold –however improbable that could be– Yuuko could do nothing about it, and Watanuki would calm down. And if it was something else, well.. then she might be able to help.

Himawari looked between the two of them, waiting for Watanuki to explain what he meant, so he quickly filled her in. He tried to keep the descriptions down to the bare minimum, not wanting to relieve the fear he had felt when the monster had attacked him, nor the sheer panic when it had turned its attention to Doumeki instead, but his trembling hands were easy to notice, even if she was nice enough to pretend not to.

“We’re leaving as soon as he’s done eating,” Watanuki stared at Doumeki for a moment, not really believing that he could eat even when something like this had happened, but since this was Doumeki, it was hard to be really surprised about it. “So just hurry up!”

Doumeki rolled his eyes at that, and to show what he thought about it, he made a show of perusing the contents of his bento for a few seconds, his next bite taking a long time to move from the box to his mouth. Watanuki glared at him, but his anger at Doumeki’s brushing off his condition was subdued by the worry he felt.

“I…” Himawari looked between Doumeki and Watanuki, then she straightened her back. “Can I come too?”

“Himawari-chan…” Watanuki hesitated. “Is it ok…?”

“Doumeki-kun is my friend, and you’re my friend too, Watanuki-kun. I don’t care if I miss class, this is more important and if I can do anything…”

Watanuki nodded, knowing how she felt. At least she had the reassurance of knowing this was not her fault.

Doumeki silently finished eating his lunch, while neither Watanuki nor Himawari were in the mood to eat, so they tried to fill the uncomfortable silence with their talk, though both obviously had their mind elsewhere.

***

Yuuko was standing in front of her shop when Watanuki, Himawari and Doumeki arrived, and it was obvious by the way she was draped in front of the entrance that she would not let them come in, but she smiled graciously at them and then her eyes zoomed on Doumeki, narrowing a bit.

“So, that is that, huh?” she said, a wry smile on her lips.

Watanuki glared at her. “Yuuko-san… what is _that_?”

“That is that, obviously,” she replied, then she stretched. She was dressed more modestly than usual, with a top with long sleeves that rolled down her arms like silk and a long, wavy skirt, and Mokona was sitting on her shoulder, and she was grinning at them.

In a way, Watanuki was glad that she was still smiling, since whenever she lost that grin it meant things were bad.

“Yuuko-san, do you know what happened last night?”

“Of course I do. After all, you were sleeping in _my_ store, Watanuki-kun,” she pressed one hand on his shoulder, a small touch to convey some modicum of reassurance, then she motioned for them to start walking. “But the street isn’t the right place to talk about these matters, so let’s all go to Doumeki’s house!”

“Why not the shop?”

Yuuko, who had taken a few steps away from him, turned to look above her shoulder, eyes narrowed. “That thing should not come into my store,” she replied, and Watanuki shivered. “Besides, I want to drink some expensive sake afterwards~”

Watanuki bit down on his lower lip, refusing to give in to his need to scream at her to be more serious for once, _please_ , and instead followed her, keeping his eyes glued to Doumeki all the while, not wanting to let him out of his sight.

Aside for rubbing his throat every now and then, he did not seem any different from before, and that was the only visible symptom that something was wrong, other than the loss of his voice.

For a moment, he entertained the hope that this would be easy to solve –that Yuuko would know what to do, that everything would be fine.

They arrived at Doumeki’s house not long afterwards, and Doumeki led them to the guest room, where he left to get the drinks, and returned quickly, sitting down next to Watanuki and Himawari.

Yuuko accepted a cup of sake with a gleeful smile, but soon schooled her features into seriousness. “It is a spirit of bad fortune,” she said, sipping her sake and looking down into the depths of her drink before looking up. “They are usually small and harmless, and they are created from the excess of bad fortune that the omikuji tied at a temple contain. Usually the aura of a temple is enough to dispel them quickly, and when the omikuji’s ink fades away with time, so do they”.

Watanuki glanced at Doumeki, then he thought back at the fortune slip that Doumeki had tied to the temple. “Wait, so–”

“Yes. This particular spirit was attracted to Doumeki because his fortune was tied to that same place. His bad fortune was not what started the creature, though. That was triggered by something else –someone discarded a fortune and placed it back inside to be picked again”.

Watanuki’s eyes widened. He had not been paying attention, but he could vaguely recall someone at the temple that day who had mentioned rejecting a half-fortune, because they had wanted to get a big one. “Yuuko-san, how could something like that create that sort of spirit?!”

Yuuko closed her eyes, and took another careful sip of her sake. “Fortune telling through omikuji isn’t as accurate now as it was in the past, and nowadays the papers that have the greatest chance to actually foretell a person’s fortune are those handpicked by a miko at a temple, because their purifying aura calls forth a true fortune-telling that is specific to the person it is given to,” she smiled wistfully, stretching her legs to the side. “But temples with a constant influx of people have the chance to trigger real fortunes even through the automatic dispensers, especially in the right situation. Days like the Sanja Matsuri, which call forth spirits and humans alike in the same place, happen to do exactly that. And while rejecting a normal fortune wouldn’t be bad, per se, rejecting a real one tailored specifically to a person… it is like rejecting your own future. It is ‘ _selfish_ ’”.

Her smile made Watanuki shiver, and he instinctively pulled back a bit, and he shared a look with Himawari.

“So that fortune paper is what caused the creature to appear? But how was Doumeki involved?”

“The half-fortune omikuji was a real fortune-telling paper, and when it was rejected it absorbed the ‘bad habit’, and it contaminated every single negative paper slip that was in the same drawer slot, so they would also become ‘real’. Doumeki just happened to choose one of those. He tied the omikuji to the stand in order to leave his bad fortune behind, and that would have been it, if Watanuki hadn’t happened upon the creature at the wrong moment”.

Watanuki swallowed. “So it really was my fault…” he tightened his hands into fists on his lap.

“The veil between dream and reality is thin for spirits, and even more for those that deal with fortune and misfortune,” Yuuko replied, her voice even. She was looking directly at Doumeki now, though, not Watanuki, though she kept addressing the latter. “That creature would have been there nonetheless, trapped within the barrier of the temple, and your presence there was unexpected, but you can't take the blame for attracting the spirit just with your presence. You are quite the snack for those creatures, after all”.

Watanuki shook his head, and still did not look up. “At least I should have been faster, but I brought that creature right to Doumeki… what… what is it going to do to him? What can I do to get it to stop?”

Yuuko refilled her sake cup slowly, and did not speak until the last droplet in the glass was still, then she peered into it for a long moment. Watanuki remained calm, waiting, until she looked up at him.

“That creature was attracted by Doumeki’s suekyou omikuji, which stemmed from the same source as the spirit and acted as a link between them. Because of that, Doumeki’s purifying powers did not work, and now that the creature is seated inside him, it is absorbing what it believes is Doumeki’s power source,” she took a long sip, and pointed the now empty cup at Doumeki’s throat. “His voice first, because it mistakenly thought that Doumeki’s exorcist powers could be used through a chant,” then she shifted her aim lower, to Doumeki’s chest, “and after that, it will slowly suck away his powers bit by bit, until they are all gone”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Glossary:**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> inarizushi - sushi rice stuffed in pouches made of seasoned and fried abuurage (tofu skin).
> 
> tamagoyaki - omelettes made of rolled up egg. It's a sweet delicacy easy to make.
> 
> makiyakinabe - it's a rectangular omelette pan used to make tamagoyaki.
> 
> kinpira gobo - braised burdock root (kinpira is a way of preparing roots like carrots and similar, sauteed and simmered with soy sauce and mirin).
> 
> shogayaki - pork grilled with ginger, it's a popular dish that can be also made with beef, but it's more common with pork.
> 
> omikuji - fortune readings (as seen in the previous fanfic).
> 
> suekichi - future curse (one of the various results a fortune paper can have).


	3. Chapter 03 - Proposition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness with this chapter, but after nanowrimo I fell into the pits of a writer's block mixed with a light depression and it took me forever to kickstart myself back into writing more than a couple words at a time. I think the worst is behind me, so you can expect updates in the future that won't take months to come out.
> 
> Thank you for your patience.
> 
> As for the actual characters of Gohou Drugs that appear in this chapter, I would like to take this chance to mention something. We've seen how Clamp sort of mess up their own timelines (we can see it in the first volume of Drug&Drop where it's said Kazahaya has been working for Kakei and Saiga for a year, and yet later on in the same volume we meet Watanuki as the store's owner, which is impossible in terms of time when in volume 2 of Gohou Drug, Rikuou and Kazahaya have been seen stealing the vase that we later see Watanuki use to connect to the Zashiki Warashi's pure water territory). Thus, this is another thing I'll correct in my fix-it fic. Please disregard Drug&Drop, as time-wise this fic comes before that. [except, I guess, the spoilers on who Kakei and Saiga are. Which is... somewhat hard to believe and I'm still not yet sure about it and how coherent it is plot wise, but it is not a thing I can retcon...].

**Chapter 03 - Proposition**

 

Yuuko took a sip of her glass, tasting the heady, pungent sake and feeling it burn all the way down.

Among all sorts of alcohol, she had always been fond of sake the most. It was not hard to come into possession of some of the most renown alcoholic beverages from all around the world, not when one was a Witch of Dimensions… especially when she enjoyed the fair exchange of favours with expensive things. Acquiring a few beverages and foods that were not from this world was not uncommon, but with all the tastes she could have at her disposal, the flavours of home were the ones she still liked the most. So many things to try, and yet Yuuko always ended up picking the strong taste of sake over any other concoction she had tried during her long years of life.

The sake bottle Doumeki had decided to bring was one that belonged to his grandfather’s personal supply; Yuuko did not know what Doumeki’s mother thought about the frequent visits of his grandson to her own father’s still-not-dwindling alcohol stash, but as he had not been stopped yet, it seemed she did not mind. They were still allowed to drink from rare, expensive and ‘magical’ bottles instead of the tamer tastes of the guest cabinet.

Not that she minded. At all.

She could feel more taste in the sake than a lot of people could, and it was not because she was a connoisseur, but because of her abilities, and if Watanuki had been trained longer, and he had acquired a taste for liquor, he would also have been able to enjoy richer flavours that went further than the alcohol itself. Purifying seals, protective barriers, the intent of the person who had owned the bottles before… Yuuko could taste it all.

It was truly a commendable stash of sake, indeed.

“Hang on a second”.

Watanuki cleared his throat, looking somewhat lightheaded, and Yuuko shook herself out of her appreciative thoughts about the sake to focus on him again.

“I think I heard you say that that creature is going to suck out all of Doumeki’s purifying powers,” there it was, the tinge of hysteria in Watanuki’s voice. “Please, Yuuko-san, tell me you are joking”.

“Quite the contrary, I’ve never been more serious,” she said, and she placed the cup down to straighten her back and look at Watanuki, half-lidded eyes pinning him down. “That creature feeds on that sort of power, and it is its undoing. By absorbing so much pure energy, it slowly fades away into nothing. This is why those creatures are rarely able to leave temples. They are created and disappear within short periods of time”.

Watanuki’s lips twitched in what could pass for a smile, but looked more like a tense grimace. “Then, then, it’s ok, right? That spirit will just leech on this oaf’s powers until it’s done for, and everything will be fine afterwards, right?”

He seemed hopeful, but he knew –he just _knew_ by looking at Yuuko– that no, things were not going to be fine. Something was wrong.

“No,” Yuuko confirmed with a light shake of her head, leaning back until her shoulders were pressed against the wall, her legs stretched out in front of her. “Unfortunately for Doumeki-kun, he does not possess a steady flow of power that a temple has. His capabilities are limited, as are those of any human. Even his grandfather, who had a greater extent of skills instead of latent powers like Doumeki-kun, was just a human, and as such, had a limit to what he could do. It is a thing all humans share –no matter what they do, they can only do so much, and to go against this limit is not something that is allowed. There are rules that humans have to obey, and to break them is to risk something far greater than just their life”.

Yuuko closed her eyes.

For a moment, her mind was not on the spirit that had attacked Doumeki, but on a bigger foe, someone who was trying to do something that was not for him to do –act outside of the scope of human capabilities. Breaking through limits that were imposed on them.

Fei Wong Reed would not succeed. He had already failed to see where his own limits were, and soon everything would come to an end… but it was still not time, and Yuuko had now to focus on things that were less world-shattering, although for some, what she had to say would be probably just as devastating, if not more, than the knowledge of a being that was slowly tearing down the fabric of all realities.

She turned to look at Watanuki, and felt once again a deep, searing regret.

Watanuki was young, and he had already seen and felt much more than a normal person would see and feel in their life –but Watanuki was not, and could never truly be, a normal person. His entire existence was woven outside of reality, he was his own personal hole that tried to mend itself inch by inch, fighting to be filled and become ‘someone’.

Yuuko had taken him under her wing, she had tried to fix the mistake she had caused, the mistake Clow Reed had caused with his own selfish, instinctive wish, but until now she had been truly unable to break through the thick, tall walls Watanuki himself had created around him to keep others away.

Now, Watanuki himself was tearing down those walls bit by bit, and Yuuko could only wait for that moment when it would be revealed whether her efforts had been in vain, or not.

But this once, the pain she could see in his eyes was not due to her existence. This time she could help, and steer his soul down a path that would aid him, and secure another link between him and reality.

“If the creature keeps residing inside him, Doumeki-kun’s powers will be ripped away from him in their entirety, and he will never be able to exorcise a spirit ever again,” Yuuko continued, idly looking away from Watanuki and towards Doumeki, to make sure he would also understand what she was saying. “Of course, even the link in the eye that you two share will be severed, so Doumeki-kun would not be able to see through it anymore”.

Watanuki felt something constrict painfully in his chest at Yuuko’s words, and for a moment he wondered if this was relief.

He had often thought, back when he was still convinced that Doumeki was nothing but an annoyance, that not having him around would be for the best. Doumeki’s powers were a continuous source of great anger for Watanuki, who could see in the way Yuuko kept pushing them together her belief that he was not good enough to take care of himself.

The worst part was that she would have been right –Watanuki had no way of protecting himself, and Doumeki’s powers that kept spirits away offered Watanuki a respite, no matter how much he disliked it.

Now, he did not think that way anymore. Even if admitting that Doumeki’s presence at his side was not a source of discomfort anymore had been hard, Watanuki could be a little more honest with himself, though it would be difficult to convey all of this to Doumeki, and even more so to swallow the embarrassment down enough for him to really do that… but despite all of this, and the constant nagging feeling that something was not right, that he still missed a puzzle piece, Watanuki’s first reaction as Yuuko spoke was not despair.

It was relief.

If Doumeki could finally escape this – _all of this_ – wouldn’t that be good?

Oh, it would be horrible to have him go now that Watanuki had finally admitted to himself that he liked having him around. But Doumeki had given to Watanuki more than he should have. He had given him more than a friendship and casual protection.

He had given him his blood, and half of his eyesight. He had given up on archery for him, because with a diminished sight, he was unable to aim true –though with spirits he could still hit them dead on without doubt or hesitation.

Doumeki had been dragged into Watanuki’s life, and that should not have happened, not like this.

It wasn’t even Himawari that Doumeki had to be wary of. It was Watanuki. If Doumeki’s powers had been good at keeping Himawari’s curse at bay, they could do nothing for the specific kind of curse that Watanuki’s presence had caused.

In a way, pushing him away would be perfect. Watanuki would stop worrying.

Watanuki caught himself thinking this, and recognised this knee-reaction chain of thoughts for what it was… and it scared him. A part of him that was growing bigger every day wanted to cling to Himawari and Doumeki, so that nothing would ever change, have them be at his side every day from now on. He wanted this easy kind of happiness to last forever… but it was not in his hands. There were things bigger than him, and things he could not control. This was one of them.

More than that, even if he wanted them to be there, he could not control these thoughts –the ones that had him instantly wish for Doumeki to leave. The ones that made him feel relief instead of regret.

At the same time, he recognised this for what it was, and the relief faded into nothing, pushed away by something different.

It was not his place to make this kind of decision, selfish or not. Doumeki wanted to be at his side. He had been the one to choose to give Watanuki his eye, and his blood, and his constant presence. Doumeki had said that to him not just once –it was his own decision.

And yet, Watanuki felt these traitorous thoughts wrap around his mind like vines; what if Doumeki chose to allow the spirit to eat his powers away? It was his self-imposed obligation that kept him at Watanuki’s side, nothing else. What would that mean for their sort of friendship? Would they–

“How do I stop it?”

The words were out of Watanuki’s mouth before he could stop himself. Eyes wide, he pressed his fingers on his mouth, expecting regret to bleed through the chaos inside his mind. No regret came. The battle inside him raged on, but he did not feel apologetic for speaking up.

He turned around to look at Doumeki, almost expecting to be on the receiving end of a glare for daring to make a decision for him. He found Doumeki staring at him with a look that he could not decipher –eyes piercing straight through him in a way that made Watanuki feel like Doumeki could read every single thought he’d had so far, and yet there was no anger there.

After what felt like an eternity, Doumeki turned his attention away from him and back to Yuuko, and Watanuki let out a shaky breath, not knowing why he felt so rattled.

“Is that what you want, Watanuki?” Yuuko caught his attention again and he turned to stare at her.

She was smiling, her head tilted to the side, and she was also looking at him in a way he could not understand, but that he felt might be almost proud, for some reason.

If there was someone who could truly know what was going through his mind, that was only Yuuko, but that did not make him feel ashamed either, nor scared.

If Doumeki decided to walk away from him, he would do it with his words and powers intact, not through the hands of a spirit.

He jutted his chin out and nodded. “Is there a way to stop it?”

“Yes,” she said, looking down at her cup and accepting Mokona’s refill. “It is not something that Doumeki-kun can do on his own, as the spirit slipped past his defences while he was asleep through the dream-world, so it is only there that the spirit can be safely removed…”

Watanuki turned to look at Doumeki, his eyes alight with determination. “I’ll get that thing out of you,” he promised, narrowing both eyes.

Doumeki opened his mouth to say something, then remembered that he had no voice, and gritted his teeth in annoyance.

“It was my fault you ended up like this, Doumeki,” Watanuki continued, noticing his reaction. “You don’t get to tell me what I can or can’t do! I will not leave you like this, and I’m the only one who can help, so let me do this for you!”

Himawari, who had been silent until then and had observed the others in the room with a mix of confusion and worry, hesitantly placed her empty cup down. Something in her stance made Watanuki turn to look at her, but her eyes did not move away from Yuuko until she also turned towards her. “Is Doumeki-kun going to be ok? Will his voice come back if the spirit is removed from him?”

Yuuko’s smile shifted to something more honest, and she leaned forwards. “Don’t worry, Himawari-chan, if the spirit is safely taken away from Doumeki-kun, he will get back his spiritual powers and his voice both, although the process might be somewhat difficult, and there is something I require…” she straightened her back again. “I will need two things, and one of those can only be acquired by you, Himawari-chan”.

This made both Doumeki and Watanuki turn around to stare at Yuuko, and both of them looked wary at the news. “Why can’t I do it?” Watanuki interjected, just as Doumeki leaned forwards, fists clenched on his knees.

“Because Watanuki-kun will be already busy acquiring the second thing we need, and Watanuki-kun still cannot be in two places at once,” Yuuko shook her head. “This is the only way this will work, and it needs to be done at the same time, or the rebound will only make the spirit melt further into Doumeki-kun”.

Himawari’s hands tightened together as she refused to look down, and her determined look took Watanuki by surprise. “I am always useless,” she said, a fleeting look of sadness passing over her face, “whenever something happens I’m never able to do anything, so if I can do this… with you two I feel welcomed. You always remind me that I don’t have to run, even if I bring you misfortune, Watanuki-kun… but now I _can_ do something, and I would be a bad friend if I refused to do it!”

Watanuki’s face softened. “I’m sorry, Himawari-chan, I didn’t mean to make you feel like that,” he said, and with a glance at Doumeki’s stony face, he continued “this guy is sorry too, even if he can’t say that now”.

Himawari nodded, her lower lip trembling for a second before she turned to Yuuko again. “So I will do anything I can”.

Yuuko nodded, the gentle smile still on her lips. “You will have to go to the Sensou-ji and remove the fortune paper from the stand where it was tied by Doumeki-kun,” she told her. “You don’t need to touch any of the others, not even the one that caused the creature to appear, as they do not matter anymore –the connection is established through the one carrying Doumeki-kun’s energy trace. It has to be you, specifically because of who _you_ are, as the omikuji will not react to something that has already been tainted with misfortune”.

Her blunt words had Watanuki wince, but Himawari did not look hurt, merely surprised. “Because of this, I can help Doumeki-kun?”

A nod. “It will not be easy, this is a warning. The Sensou-ji is an area filled with spiritual power, and there are still traces of the spirit’s connection to the omikuji. Not to mention it will not be easy to untie a specific one when you are surrounded with so many people visiting and buying fortunes. If the bad fortune deflects away from you, there is a chance it will be amplified and cast to those surrounding you,” Yuuko’s eyes narrowed down. “Do you still want to do it?”

There was no hesitation in Himawari’s face or tone as she nodded. “Yes”.

“Well then, that’s one thing!” Yuuko smiled, and her seriousness faded away for a second. “You will have to bring me the omikuji, but not to the shop. We’ll talk about the details later on. Now, Watanuki–”

“Yes!” Watanuki straightened his back at being addressed. “What do I have to do?”

“You will also need to acquire something important, but Doumeki-kun can’t come with you, nor can the Kudakitsune. You will be mostly on your own this time,” Yuuko warned him, leaning forwards and pressing her chin on one hand. “Do you still want to go?”

“Yes!” Watanuki slid out of his seat, both hands pressed on the table’s surface. “Of course I will! I don’t care if I have to go alone, I will do it!”

Doumeki, still grimacing because of Watanuki’s determination and his own inability to speak, clenched his hands and looked down at them, feeling powerless. He wanted to say something, but before he could make up his mind as to how, he felt a soft pressure on his leg. Looking down, he saw Mokona at his side.

Mokona did not speak, he simply looked up at him, and for a moment Doumeki could see why this was a creature made through magic by Yuuko herself, because despite its small size and its funny appearance, Mokona looked serious and almost desolate to him, and Doumeki felt most of his anger leave his body.

“Well then, you’ll still need someone to go with you,” Yuuko clapped her hands together. “There might be some problems to find what I want, and only someone with a specific skill can help you, and I’m sad to say you don’t know anyone who fits the bill, Watanuki~”

“How can you say that smiling when Doumeki’s being consumed by a spirit!” Watanuki raged, cheeks growing hot in anger, and Yuuko waved one hand at him, trying to get him to calm down.

“My, Watanuki, what fighting spirit you have, and here poor Doumeki-kun was worried you would go into this only half-heartedly…”

“Like hell I would! He will definitely watch and look at me in awe because I’ll do everything and get rid of that spirit so he can just sit there and rest and let me worry about saving his ass this time!” he turned around to look at Doumeki, who only raised both eyebrows at him. Watanuki seemed to deflate a little and calmed down. “Just watch,” he repeated, so earnest that Doumeki was visibly taken aback.

“You should be glad, Watanuki, that _I_ know someone who can help you,” Yuuko smiled triumphantly, tilting her head to the side and glancing out of the window of the room. “I will need to get in contact with someone first, but there should be no problem, so I will do that in a bit. Of course, there is the matter of the payment, and not just for my services here, but for theirs too…”

This time Doumeki took control of the situation, shifting until he was standing up. Watanuki, Himawari and Yuuko turned to stare at him, the latter with a knowing look in her eyes.

“Yes, Doumeki-kun, after all we are doing this to help you recover your voice and save your powers at the same time,” Yuuko hummed, placing one finger on her lips. “We will need to talk about the price later, and it might have to be something precious enough to cover both parts, hmmm… is that ok?”

He nodded, face set in a frown, and Watanuki and Himawari looked at one another, feeling like the should contribute somehow but as they were being ignored by the other two in the room, they decided to let the matter go, at least for the moment.

Yuuko sighed, then shook her empty cup, and Mokona rolled over to Watanuki’s side, nudging him with his cup, also empty. “My, my, all this talking has made me really thirsty,” she whined. “Watanuki~ go get me a refill… and why don’t you also make some snacks to go with it? There’s nothing that can be done right now, so we should eat at least!”

“Me too, me too!” Mokona added, waving his little arms around. “Make it a double, got it? Double!”

“I got it, I got it!” Watanuki glared at Doumeki, who was already moving towards the door. “You stay there! I know they’re not the only ones who want a refill, and I know my way to the kitchen so just wait there, ok?”

Doumeki’s lips twitched a bit, but as he could say nothing, he sat down again, while Himawari smiled at him and stood up, stretching her arms. “But Watanuki-kun won’t mind if I come with you, right? You’ll need help to carry everything here afterwards!”

“Ah~ Himawari-chan, you’re far too nice! It’s this way!”

The two left the guest room, and the last thing Doumeki could hear was a comment from Himawari about how close the two of them were, if Watanuki knew his way around Doumeki’s house so well, and Watanuki’s stammered reply, then they were too far and Doumeki could hear no more.

Silence fell on them, and the moment Watanuki and Himawari’s voices disappeared, something shifted in the air that made Doumeki turn around and sit down at the table again.

As he had expected, the moment he made himself comfortable again Yuuko shifted from her pose and sat back up, eyes sharp and focused on him.

“There is something else,” she told him. “But it is not something that Watanuki should hear, at least not now”.

This was enough to alert Doumeki, who tensed up instantly.

“Something else happened that day when you went to get your omikuji, did it not?”

Doumeki blinked, surprised at the question, and he had to think back because he could not understand what Yuuko was hinting at.

“Oh, I’m sure you will remember,” Yuuko continued, her smile twisting into something both amused and enigmatic. “Something was exchanged that day”.

For a moment more, Doumeki still could not understand –then it hit him, and his eyes widened.

When he and Watanuki had been waiting for their turn to take a fortune paper from the dispenser, Watanuki had been unable to find a coin to put in the slot, so Doumeki had given him one, and right after that, Watanuki had found his money and done the same for him.

At the time Doumeki had not given it any afterthought, but with Yuuko in front of him, looking amused and pointedly staring at him… the small meaningless action suddenly seemed more important. And Yuuko had called it an exchange, so…

“Yes,” she said, and there was no trace of a smile on her lips anymore. “The fortune that was meant to be his was the one that has been corrupted by the hankichi omikuji, but you paid for it instead, and he paid for yours, thus completing an exchange in fortune”.

Doumeki felt his heart constrict in his chest, and something must have appeared on his expression –or maybe she just _knew_ – because Yuuko took a deep sigh and shook her head.

“Watanuki’s powers are unlike yours –they are not purifying, and they would have only rendered the spirit resistant against destruction. If the spirit had managed to attach itself to Watanuki, it would have trapped his mind within the dream-world in order to feast upon it. He would have been asleep in this world, while in that one the spirit would have devoured all of his powers, until there was nothing left –not of his powers, nor of his mind”.

Doumeki swallowed thickly, his mouth dry, and he placed his hand on top of his throat, which was burning painfully.

He had a question on his lips that he could not ask, and not just because he had no voice, but because he could not bear to listen the answer.

Why would the spirit steal away all of Watanuki, when Doumeki could get off easily with just his powers and his voice?

And yet, Doumeki thought he knew this answer already, or at least part of it. It was the way Watanuki seemed removed from reality, as if he lived in another plane, and his interactions with people were few and far in-between.  It was those moments when he looked distant and dull, like he would disappear the moment Doumeki looked away, going somewhere he could not follow –somewhere distant, cold and lonely. It was the way Watanuki kept falling asleep, in his recklessness, in the way he kept acting like his life had no importance whatsoever.

It was the way most people seemed to look through him, as if Watanuki was not truly there, a hole that only people like Doumeki, Himawari and Kohane could fill in the shape of someone that went by the name of Watanuki.

It was the way Yuuko sometimes looked at Watanuki –like there was a weight on her chest that only he could soothe.

“What happened was not by chance,” Yuuko broke the uneasy silence, holding Mokona up in her arms and petting him, as he obviously looked just as upset as Doumeki was. “As that child keeps fighting for his own existence, and every bond he creates serves as a link between himself and this reality that he wants to make his own, so the bonds that are created to secure his continued existence work, sometimes unconsciously, to give him a better chance. What happened to you, one way or another, will serve to tighten the bond you two share, but it is only Watanuki who can decide what direction that bond will go, in the end”.

Doumeki swallowed again, sorely missing the taste of sake to soothe his aching throat and the other painful ache in his chest that had nothing to do with the spirit’s ordeal, but Yuuko’s next words surprised him.

“And yet, that child can’t make a choice if he is not aware of having one to make, or that there is an option in front of him. When blind, humans choose only the path they know, as they are not able to see other paths that are hidden from their sight. Doumeki-kun, there is a path that only you can show Watanuki, and this is your own choice to make. Even choosing not to act is a choice in itself, and its ramifications will travel deeper than you think”.

Then she straightened up, and her serious face melted away. Doumeki wanted to ask –there were a lot of things he wanted to ask, and some were not really nice, as he felt that in a way, he was being nudged in a direction he was not sure he could take, let alone walk– but the wall between himself and that woman was too wide and too tall, and in the end he chose to keep quiet and think instead.

In his pocket, the egg went unmentioned, but its presence burned into Doumeki’s mind, now more than ever, as he was not sure if this decision was one that involved the egg, or not. It was never forgotten, its presence heavy and imposing, and hiding away did nothing to make Doumeki forget about it.

It was a heavy burden to carry, and even more since he had no idea whether he would have to use it or not, nor why, or how.

Silence settled over the three of them again –not a tense one but one full of unasked, unanswered questions– and it was only dispelled with the return of Watanuki and Himawari with a tray of food and more drinks.

Mokona, apparently knowing they all needed a break, bounced over to Watanuki and engaged him with theatrics and demands for more food.

Watching Watanuki rage and rant at Mokona, looking alive and normal, Doumeki allowed himself a small moment of respite from the pain in his throat and from the thoughts spinning in his mind, and simply enjoyed the company, as if nothing was wrong.

If only for a second, even someone like him, who never looked away from the truth, needed a break.

***

The meadow was peaceful, and light was shining from above, filtering through the tree branches and onto the grass below.

In the tranquil surroundings, it was easy to lose track of time, and the birds chirping were the only sound travelling to the two kids sprawled on the grass.

They were both identical –a set of twins around the age of ten– with light hair and lithe frames, and the only difference was in their attires and the fact that one of them had long, flowing hair spread on the grass around her head like a halo. The girl was wearing a beautiful kimono, its flowery patterns bright and sharp against the green scenery, while the boy had normal everyday clothes, a t-shirt and a pair of shorts; both kids were barefoot, socks slightly wet with dew, and neither seemed to care. They were looking up at the sky, hands intertwined together, shoulders so close they touched.

“Look, Kazahaya, that cloud resembles a little crow!” the girl giggled, little feet clad in white tabi socks curling together in excitement. Her eyes were fixed on the patches of sky visible between the foliage, observing the clouds as they travelled above them, while the boy’s eyes kept moving from the sky to her face.

The sun was warm on his skin, but he still felt cold, and the girl at his side probably felt the same because her hand in his was freezing… and yet, he did not let go of it.

“I like spending time with you, Kazahaya,” the girl said, her tone bleeding with warmth and happiness. “I don’t like when we can’t be together”.

Kazahaya shook his head. “I don’t like that either, Kei,” he replied, shuffling until he was sitting and looking down at her. Her gaze remained on him as he moved, and her hand clenched down on his own so he would not let go.

“It’s too bad it’s about to rain,” Kei continued, her tone sounding a little less excited, her lips twisting down in a small pout as she glanced away from him and to the sky past him. “I wanted to stay out for longer looking at the clouds with you…”

Kazahaya blinked, feeling a trickle of confusion fill him. “Rain…? No, it’s sunny, Kei, there is…” he trailed off as the sun was suddenly covered with darker clouds, the last droplets of warmth draining from his skin. He shivered. “… no rain at all”.

The air had turned cold all of sudden, and around him the pleasant meadow felt different, almost closing down on him, darker on the edges. Kazahaya stood up, his hand still holding onto Kei’s smaller one in a tight grip, and she went up with him without a word. She was so cold, but Kazahaya did not let go of her anyway, and glanced around with confusion and wariness. How could the weather change so quickly? What was going on…?

“We have to go back,” he said, his own voice sounding from far away. “Kei…”

“Why? I don’t want to. I want to stay here with you, forever and ever,” Kei shuffled closer to him until she was pressed against his side. Her whole body was cold, so very cold, and Kazahaya felt two different instincts fight inside him –one telling him to tug her closer, and the other to push her away. He did neither, but allowed her to huddle up against him, trying to ignore the way the cold seeped inside him. “It’s just rain… don’t you want to stay with me?”

“I…”

Droplets of water fell on his arms and forehead, and Kazahaya shivered at how cold they felt, so he let go of Kei’s hand to wipe the freezing liquid away from his skin, only to stare in shock at the red dots on his skin and the smudged trail left on his fingers.

Was it raining red?

“Kei–” but she was not at his side anymore. Kazahaya was alone, and cold, and the meadow was empty.

Crimson rain pit-pattered around him, staining the grass red. Crimson rain fell from the sky, everything was crimson, everything was dark. He squeaked and ran for cover under a tree, disgusted and upset; something was wrong –he was having difficulties breathing, like there was a pressure on his chest that made it hard to breathe, but he still panicked at the fact that he was alone.

Where was Kei?

They shouldn’t be separated.

“Kei! Where are you!”

The sound of a crow cawing had Kazahaya turn around abruptly, eyes wide in shock, and he caught a glimpse of a bloody figure staggering towards him, one arm stretched to him–

–and then his eyes snapped open.

For a moment, all Kazahaya could hear was the sound of his heart racing in his ears, loud enough he was afraid it would rip through his chest and run away. There was something heavy on his chest and Kazahaya choked on his saliva as he fought against whatever was holding him down, only to be startled when a bag rolled down from him and onto the ground, spilling bags of rice and bottles of water everywhere.

He was on his bed, with his blanket rolled up around one arm and both of his legs. Above his head, the ceiling was a calming, washed out cream colour. No rain, no blood.

Kazahaya clenched his hands into fists around the blanket; even the cold from the dream was gone, replaced with warmth.

“Wha–”

“Thought you would want to get to work in time,” a voice filtered through his ears, and Kazahaya’s head snapped to the side, catching sight of a tall, dark-haired figure moving out of the bedroom.

“Ri–” he coughed, cleared his throat and tried again. “Rikuou?”

“You were deeply asleep, just like a baby,” Rikuou continued from the bathroom, his tone casual. There were sounds of running water. “Shouldn’t have bothered”.

Finally Kazahaya’s brain reconnected with his surroundings, and he snapped up on his feet like a spring, suddenly awake.

He had been dreaming again –of Kei, of blood– and Rikuou had dropped a bag of food on his…

“Why did you do that!” he stormed over, glowering at the food as if it was its fault, only to have Rikuou’s head pop out from the bathroom, looking nonplussed.

“As I said, you’re pretty hard to wake up. Next time I’ll try with a kiss, sleeping beauty”.

“Who are you calling what?!” Kazahaya’s hand flew to the scattered goods at his feet, grabbing the first thing he found and hurling it at Rikuou’s head. It turned out he had picked up a chocolate bar, which flew and hit the wall a few inches away from Rikuou’s face. The idiot did not even flinch or look perturbed.

How dare he.

“Stop wasting the food and get ready, or you’ll be late”.

His head disappeared in the bathroom again, and Kazahaya’s eyes fell on a nearby clock. Five minutes to starting time –he was truly late if he had even missed breakfast; all thoughts of anger and revenge vanished from his mind and Kazahaya flew around the room, picking up his clothes and his things to get ready, a stream of curses and insults leaving his lips as he did so, most of them directed at Rikuou for not waking him up earlier.

The Midori Drugstore was already open by the time Rikuou and Kazahaya were ready and moved downstairs, though it was still empty of customers for the moment. There were a few boxes of restocked products piled up near the entrance that had been delivered earlier in the morning while Kazahaya slept, and most of them needed to be opened and placed where they belonged. Kazahaya recognised a few familiar brands of food and cleaning products, already sorting them in his mind as he made his way towards the back of the store, where Kakei was waiting for them.

The man never seemed to sleep, an air of placid contentment surrounding him at any time of the day, and whenever Kazahaya saw him, he felt some of that calm seep to him, almost as if by magic.

“Good morning,” their boss greeted as he noticed Rikuou and Kazahaya walk his way. His smile was just as warm and pleasant as ever, and Kazahaya felt a bubble of contentment  swell in his chest at the sight. “Any later and I would have needed to find myself two new employees”.

Kazahaya froze at the teasing tone, delivered with the usual cheerful attitude, and the smile on his lips faded into panic. “Ah! But we’re still on time!”

Instead of an answer, Kakei merely grinned at him, and Kazahaya relaxed again, oblivious to the amused curl of Kakei’s lips. “Well, Kudou-kun, I think it’s time for work… but before that, I have a job proposition for you”.

Kazahaya reacted instinctively and without thinking. “I’ll take it!”

Somewhere behind him, Rikuou snorted and rolled his eyes, used to Kazahaya’s obliviousness when it came to Kakei’s side jobs, but this time he kept his mouth shut and hoisted one of the boxes in his arm, carrying it to a corner of the store; he cut it open with a flick of his wrist and perused its contents, glancing around before grabbing a handful of liquid soap bottles from the box and moved to where he had to stock them.

He had spent a year getting to know Kazahaya, and his impetuous attitude had not changed since the start, so he had little hope he would wise up anytime soon.

Kakei offered Kazahaya a blinding smile. “Is that so? It is a job of _that_ kind”.

Kazahaya did not back down. “I need the money,” he admitted without leaving any room to protest, like he had done more than once before whenever Kakei offered him a job.

To him it did not matter what kind of side job he had to face, dangerous or simple –he had left behind his life, he had nowhere else to go, no means to provide for himself nor any money. He would do anything to keep living like this, one more day at a time. Kakei had offered him a place to stay (even if he was sharing it with Rikuou) and a job in his store, and sometimes took the chance to offer him side jobs for some extra cash, and Kazahaya was not one to look at a gifted horse’s mouth… even if these jobs included supernatural situations.

While the Midori Drugstore was, well, a normal store that sold this and that, had a normal clientele and normal requests to fulfil, like any other place in Tokyo, its owners were no simple men, not as far as Kazahaya knew.

Both Kakei and Saiga –the other elusive man behind the storefront, a tall guy always wearing sunglasses, who was currently dozing off in the backroom without a care in the world– possessed magical powers, though Kazahaya had never seen either of them in action. Kakei had mentioned a couple times that he had precognition powers, and he could see into the future of anyone as long as the person was not more powerful than he was, and he seemed to dab into the supernatural and had a lot of contacts with people with similar gifts, while Saiga’s powers were still a mystery to Kazahaya, and he had no idea what they were, other than the fact that Saiga apparently was good at finding people.

Kazahaya, too, had similar powers. His were associated to touch and memories, as he could see into the past and connect to the feelings associated to whatever he touched. The first few jobs Kakei had given him had been hard, because he had never used his powers in such a conscious way, and he had lost his grip on them more than once, losing himself in visions and memories and emotions belonging to other people. The past year had been good to him, though –his grip on his powers was growing, and so did his control on them, as was his ability to stretch them to do what he needed. Slowly, the amount of jobs he and Rikuou completed without problems increased, and with it, so did Kazahaya’s knowledge on the limits of his powers.

“Oi Rikuou, did you hear? There’s a job!” Kazahaya, assuming he would be hassled with Rikuou’s presence once again, turned around to stare at his co-worker, who grunted out a reply.

“Oh, this time you’ll do it on your own, Kudou-kun,” Kakei interjected. “This also means you won’t have to split the reward and–”

“I’ll definitely do it! Who needs Rikuou anyway? Not me!” he twisted his head to look at Kakei again, eyes flaring with determination and no small amount of gloating. “What do I have to do?”

At that, Kakei’s usually cheerful expression melted into one of seriousness. “It might be a little different from your usual side jobs… no matter how unusual those are already,” he flashed him a quick, small smile, “Rikuou won’t be able to come with you because his power is highly disruptive, and the object you have to retrieve is delicate and needs to be handled with care”.

Kazahaya snorted into his hand, glancing over at Rikuou with a small, superior sneer, and mouthed a carefree insult about his skills at handling things. Rikuou’s expression remained even, but he turned towards Kakei. “If the target is fragile, it might be dangerous to send that guy,” he pointed a thumb at Kazahaya, who hissed, annoyed. “He might break it just by looking at it”.

Kakei offered the two bickering employees an amused smile. “Regardless, it is not a mission that anyone else could do, so if Kazahaya didn’t accept, there would be nobody else,” his expression changed for a brief instant in one that Kazahaya could not read, but that seemed almost… regretful. “It is important that the object is secured without fail. I take it you will do your best?”

“O-of course! Just leave it to me!” Kazahaya took a step forwards, trying to convey as much confidence as he could. “Uh… what is it that I have to retrieve?”

“I was not told what it is,” Kakei shook his head. “What is important is that you will not go alone –the commissioner of the job will be coming with you”.

Kazahaya blinked, taken aback by the news. During all of his jobs, except the one he had done undercover in the private school, it had been either him and Rikuou on the job, or (rarer still) just him. There was no need for him to interact with other people unless it was required of him, and even then it was never for long. This, though… it meant he would have to go retrieve an object with the person who had requested the job.

As it was, Kazahaya was not someone who trusted easily; even though the circumstances of his first meeting with Rikuou had been less than ideal, he had ended up sharing a house with him, but ‘trust’ had been slow to come. It had taken him months to be able to be around him and look at Rikuou as more than just ‘that asshole person he had to work with’, and now if he had to be honest with himself, he could say he not only trusted the guy, but found him likeable, too. Side jobs… they did mean there could be dangers, and working with someone he had never met… it was almost like going back to those first few days around Rikuou, when all they had done was bicker and fight and tiptoe around each other.

Without meaning to, he turned around and glanced at Rikuou, only to find him looking at him as well. Caught staring, he felt annoyance bubble up inside him, and to hide his sudden insecurity and hesitance, he scowled. “What are you looking at?!”

“Someone who’s scared and wants to back down,” Rikuou replied with a straight face.

Kazahaya hissed, his scowl deepening further. “I’m not afraid! It’s just weird to have someone _else_ tag along, that’s all!”

“I’ll understand if you do not want to continue,” Kakei interjected, finding their squabble amusing but not really wanting them to divert the attention from the subject. “Even though the payment for this job is quite good, nobody will fault you for being unsettled”.

“I… what? No! No, I want the job!”

Kakei’s smile returned instantly, a pleased tilt of his lips. “Good to know, Kudou-kun. I wouldn’t have wanted to see her displeased…”

“Her?” this was a first for Kazahaya, having Kakei mention someone like this. “Is the commissioner a woman?”

“Oh, no, not at all. But the person who asked me for this job is a dear friend of mine,” was the casual reply, and the mysterious smile on Kakei’s lips was all it took for Kazahaya to regret even asking. “She is particularly invested in that person, after all, and it’s not like I can’t understand it”.

For a moment forgetting he was supposed to be angry at Rikuou for being annoying, Kazahaya turned to his co-worker, and the two exchanged a puzzled glance. Sometimes things Kakei said made no sense.

“Well then, if you accept, I’ll make sure to contact her and say you’re willing to work with him,” Kakei clapped his hands together, signalling their talk was done. “Get ready for this evening”.

“Yes,” Kazahaya nodded, fired up already at the prospect of what seemed to be an easy retrieval job followed by cashing in the money all on his own.

Besides… Kakei had said it was important for the commissioner, and Kazahaya had a feeling they wouldn’t have asked Kakei at all if there was another way out. He would have to do his best.

“Yes, and try not to damage the goods again,” Rikuou called out from deep in the store, and al thoughts of worry about his job vanished from Kazahaya’s mind, replaced with a wave of anger.

“Shut up! As if it’s not your fault half the time! You can’t even come for this job, so you have no say in this!”

He stomped over, grabbing some of the bottles from the opened box and fussing around with their placement, not wanting to give in to Rikuou’s obvious teasing.

“Ah, look at the young couple, so full of energy from early morning”.

Kazahaya and Rikuou looked over to the backdoor; Saiga had appeared from the office and was slumped against the wall, stretching lazily and with his trademark shades nested on his nose, hiding his eyes from them. He appeared somewhat tired, his shoulders slumped down and his clothes not as pristine as always, but his lips twitched up in his usual smirk as he approached the two employees.

“Saiga-san, good morning,” Kazahaya called out. “Still tired?”

“What can I say, another night of hard work might be satisfying, but it does leave you weary afterwards,” still smirking, Saiga leaned against Kakei, one hand coming to caress his cheek in a blatant show of affection.

Now used to the public displays the two men had for each other, Kazahaya turned his attention back to his work. At first he had been embarrassed at the level of closeness Kakei and Saiga had between them, and a little bit envious –it was different from the relationship he had with Kei, which was the only one he had ever experienced before running away– but it lost its novelty a few months in. Nowadays it was simply how things were –an expected normalcy of sorts.

Losing himself in his work, spending most of the morning refilling the shelves and then cataloguing things in the back, Kazahaya almost forgot about the side job he had signed up to earlier, if not for the quick, intense glances Rikuou kept sending him every now and then.

The quiet between them did not last long –it never really did. “Stop staring at me!”

Rikuou did not say anything, but he did look away and returned to his writing down the list of unsold products on the sheets of paper Kakei had given him earlier. He seemed to make a point in ignoring Kazahaya, which annoyed him even more.

“What _is_ your problem? You’ve been looking at me all afternoon!” Kazahaya was, admittedly, easy to rile up, at least when it came to Rikuou –the guy had a certain something to him that seemed to grate to his nerves a lot, despite how close the two had become in the past year.

“I haven’t,” Rikuou denied, and there was a hint of a smirk on his face. “Sounds like you’re getting ahead of yourself”.

Biting down on the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from lashing out, Kazahaya tried to focus on his work again. The idea that he would have to do a mission with someone who was not Rikuou was starting to become a little more appealing, despite knowing that a stranger would be weird to have around and he would need to watch his act.

It was only when Saiga tapped him on the shoulder that Kazahaya finally resurfaced from the depths of the storage room and realised the afternoon had passed without him noticing, and it was about time he left for his side job.

Leaving behind Rikuou, Kazahaya kept his head high and refused to look back, not wanting to give him the satisfaction to see him hesitate; after all, this was just going to be an easy job, and as long as he did everything correctly, nobody would protest, and he would get paid. All of the money would be just for him.

“Hey”.

Saiga’s voice had a quality to it that made all hair on Kazahaya’s arms stand on its end. It was deep and serious, and unlike his usual, teasing persona. There was an edge to it that spoke of depths Kazahaya had no knowledge about –something old and ancient, and for the first time, Kazahaya felt his powers reach out on their own, wanting to know what that feeling was –but then it was gone, and he shuddered at the emptiness left behind.

“Yes?”

“One pointer for your job,” and again, Saiga’s voice was devoid of emotion, the muscles of his jaw tense, and Kazahaya wondered whether he was also narrowing his eyes beneath those blank shades.

They walked out of the storeroom, but Saiga stopped him with a hand on his arm before they could reach the exit of the drugstore, still out of Kakei’s sight.

“Don’t touch that guy,” Saiga said.

“Huh?”

Of all things he had expected the man to say, this had not been one of them.

“You know the extent of your powers,” Saiga’s head tilted down, and Kazahaya had the distinct impression that he was looking right into his eyes, even if he could not see it. “Don’t touch him with your bare skin. Under _no_ circumstance”.

All his carefully built walls of reassurance crumbled under the seriousness of Saiga’s tone, and Kazahaya felt the hesitance from before worm its way back into his stomach.

His powers were based on touch, on creating a connection between his conscious and whatever he was touching, be it a door of a small temple or a corner of a street, or Rikuou’s hand. Emotions, memories –it was all linked to touch, physical and psychic contact.

Objects carried over memories of their past owners, and some gained a conscience through this. Kazahaya had seen a lot of things, and some of them he had learned only after leaving his life behind, after meeting Kakei and Saiga and Rikuou.

If Saiga sounded so serious, it meant there was something more to his commissioner, and Kazahaya suddenly wondered whether he should take this job; he had given his word, and knew it would be bad to just back down now, so he forced his worry to uncoil and he tried to suppress his nerves.

“Wh- why is that–”

“Just don’t, ok kid?” and just like that, Saiga returned to normal, one hand coming up to ruffle Kazahaya’s hair. “Now let’s go, wouldn’t want to keep Kakei waiting”.

Kazahaya was left behind as Saiga exited the drugstore, and after a moment to compose himself and take a deep breath, he followed him out, where Kakei was waiting for them. Saiga smiled and wrapped both arms around the other man, and tilted his head to the side as Kazahaya appeared.

“You ready?” Kakei asked him.

“Yeah,” he replied, hoping his tension would not show in his voice.

Might as well get it over with.

 

**Author's Note:**

>  **Glossary:**  
>  Kekkai - magical protective barrier. Spiritual users like Yuuko can raise one to protect what's inside from dangers or threats.  
> Omikuji - fortune paper predictions (see previous fanfic)  
> Kimihiro (or, on first name basis in Japan) - only members of the same family or very close friends (childhood friends, etc) use each other's given names. School friends mostly use surnames with suffixes or without them, and with girls, first-name basis with a suffix is left to friends of various degrees. No suffix indicates either heavy dislike (Watanuki calling Doumeki without any suffix and using his surname, for example, indicates this earlier in the series and he never changes), or really close friendship/closeness. -chan is used for girls or childhood friends, -kun is mostly for guys. There are various degrees of closeness in this. Kohane asking Watanuki to call him Kimihiro-kun is a request for a particular closeness, Shaoran's desire to call him Kimihiro is an even more obvious admission of closeness (duh), Haruka's request to be called as such is mostly a show of the relationship him and Watanuki have plus the need to not confuse him with Doumeki the grandson. Since we never hear what Haruka calls Watanuki, I've taken the liberty of having Watanuki return the courtesy and asking Haruka to call him by his name too.


End file.
